Hate what this disease does...

Yesterday my cousin lost her battle with cancer...im gunna continue to fight but my heart says if i give up ill be back with my cousin again. its not fair that she has to die and i get to live. emotionally broken right now...


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  • mermer4: I can relate to how you're feeling right now. I have a friend (Cindy) who passed away in May from breast to lung cancer. She was 35 yrs old w/ 2 beautiful boys (8 & 5 yrs old). I felt so bad because I should have taken her place. I survived NPC & I am 58 yrs old, My kids are grown up. I don't know what our purpose of surviving is but I know that our purpose on earth is not over yet. Let us both pray for their peace & keep praying that soon there will be a cure for this stupid cancer.
  • It's something I don't want to think about, but do. Everyday, I swallow the fact that my Neuro Endocrine Carcinoid Cancer is Stage 4, and only treatable. With the diagnoses being just back in early April, I still struggle with what exactly all that means. But, I also think about death and dying. Will I live a few more weeks...years...into my 60's?! It's even more difficult to think of death and dying as a young adult or child. We all think about dying when we are "old", right? We never...or seldom...think about dying at 35 or 40...or 19 or 25, do we? I look at how often we turn on the TV and hear of someone with Cancer of some type and think about how my mother would always tell me that the Bible says mankind will destroy itself. It makes me think about how "chemical" our world is and makes me say that all this is because of our water, food, and fact that we are a "chemical" world.

    All we can do is fight, pray, and hope. Use your cousins situation to make you stronger. I had a sister die of Aplastic Anemia in 1992, but her's was malpractice related. I still use her situation to make me stronger in my fight with what is a very rare Cancer.
  • I do not know anyone personally who has passed away from cancer but I hear about it in the news or on TV almost daily. While that it a completely different feeling of sorrow, I can tell you that I think about death almost every night. It's kind of one of those things that slips into your mind when you're hoping to fall asleep and not stay awake all night with insomnia-like side effects. It's hard to think about those I could possibly be leaving behind. it's hard not to get SUPER angry that these addicts and abusers on the show Intervention are so effed up and make horrible decisions and DON'T get cancer!! ugh!... But it gets easier. I try to remind myself that people can die anytime from freak car accidents to crazy gangstas (I watch too much of 'The First 48'). Anyways, I start to think about how it's kind of neat to have a heads up and see the possibility there and KNOW what changes I want to make in my life to live a more fulfilling and healthy lifestyle. sometimes i look at my friends and think, YOU ARE SO BLIND. Open your eyes!! frustration.. life is beautiful and you should do your best to enjoy every second. I guess what I'm trying to get at is, thinking and even talking about death makes it easier to grasp than not thinking about it at all FOR ME. you just have to see what works best for you. PS i'm 25; stage 4 breast cancer; fighter.
  • Before I was diagnosed with breast cancer last fall, my brother lost his battle with cancer which had begun as skin cancer and then migrated to his ribs and then other organs and finally to his brain. I was grief stricken and kept thinking he was such a wonderful person who had given so much to so many. He was the glue that sort of held our family together - the reason we had family reunions. I would have traded my life for his in a minute. Then not more than a 1 1/2 years later, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I suddenly had to deal with the reality of life and death myself. I was forced to face cancer and fight it or give up and let it win again. I chose to fight with all of my being. I believe that each individual comes into this world to accomplish a purpose. We will face challenges, have to climb mountains, and fight some of the most fearful battles. In the end, it isn't what we have done, but how we have done it that really counts. Your friend fought a brave fight and lost the battle - you on the other hand can be a support, encourage, and share the wisdom of your experience with others and may be the one person who was meant to be the lifeline for someone else. Hang in there - you can do this - you are here for a reason.