4 more external radiation treatments and I'm a 'lil bit terrified

On one hand I can't believe the past 21 treatments have gone so fast - it's great to "count down". On the other, I'm scared in a weird way that it's almost over. The "what if's" are hovering over me like a flock of vultures while I try to focus on the positives. I don't know if I need internal radiation yet but part of me is all for it - whatever will increase my odds.

That's all I got.

Thanks for reading.


  • 5 Comments sorted by Votes Date Added
  • I'm responding to myself...

    Turned on the TV last night after posting and boom - there it was - Joyce Meyer was talking about defeating words and lies we make ourselves believe - negativity that brings us down instead of lifting us up.

    I needed that reminder.
  • It sounds like you have had a tough road and may still have more ahead of you. When I was about 1/2 way through radiation for breast cancer I had developed this really strange rash and it was only getting worse and worse no matter what I did. The Doctor wanted to stop for a couple of weeks, but I was adamant that I just needed to finish despite the rash, despite how exhausted I was, despite the fact that my brain no longer worked like I was used to. He agreed to continue, and when I finally was finished with it, I felt like I could finally breathe again. The last treatment was Feb. 10, 2012 and it has taken me nearly 5 months to get where I think I am finally almost normal again. While I don't know you, I believe in you - I believe you can do this and see it through to the end of the treatments. It is scary and exhausting (physically, emotionally, and mentally), but in the end you have won the battle and cancer takes another nose dive off into the deep end of not winning this one. You got this!!!
  • Thanks Vickie!

    Vickie, thank you so much for understanding and for your encouragement!

    I had a similar situation - a few side effects surfaced 3/4's of the way through and my oncologist gave me the option to take a break. I wouldn't hear of it - I just wanted to get it done.

    I'm using Radiaplex - did you use something different for your rash?
  • I used radiaplex, aloe vera, a prescription cortisone cream, and bag balm. Sometimes I mixed stuff together - anything to help relieve the pain and the itching. What worked the best, actually, was not having any clothing on for a couple of days - that is difficult, but it helped. When I did that on the days I didn't have radiation treatments, it was really helpful (like over a long weekend).

    If there is anything else that you need or just need to vent, please feel free to do so.