I was diagnosed with adenocarcinoma of the cervix this May. Tried a cone biopsy, and the margins were questionable for invasive cancer. I'm single, with no prospects...just yank the whole thing out. So in July I had a hyst. I was doing well with it until they wheeled me out of the pre-op area towards the operating room. I balled my eyes out the whole way. I've been "dealing" with it ok since then, but every once in a while it hits me, harder each time that the previous one.
This time of year is normally hard for me, but this year it was compounded. It started mid-Nov with my birthday (single/alone/no kids), then went to my brother's wedding (single/alone/no kids), to Thanksgiving (etc), Christmas (etc), New Years (etc)...you get the idea. Throw on top of it the fact that I'm never going to have kids, and I can't even donate my eggs because the fertility clinic will not take them, I'm feeling peachy keen.
I work in emergency medicine, so I'm used to dealing/not dealing with things on a regular basis. I can do a shot gun to the head and then discuss it over pizza. When does this get better? I'm tired of feeling all alone on some isolated island that no one is ever going to understand. Grrr!!!!!
Thank you for letting me vent. I'm at work right now, and I've been up since 7:00am yesterday, so I think a lot of my crankiness has to do with being overtired.