Eye of the Hurricane :)

Months later, I'm back but I'm also at the LOWEST point in my entire life. I'm done with treatment! I'm cancer free but I'm also now part of 'Club Panic' and let me tell you, didn't think i'd be here :) My mom has fallen very ill, she's very unstable on her feet so I've had to take over the entire househould, and i mean make the food, do the dishes, pay the bills, etc. My father has fallen into his own world, and I understand that's how he handles things, playing music is okay but not when it consumes your entire life. Now my stomach hurts so much and blood in my urine, but my parents have kinda of just ignored it and the doctor is still investigating things about it.

My friends...honest to god I have no more. Days go on and no messages or updates from people in my life. EVERYONE has left me. EVERY one, they don't want to associate with me anymore and I've tried ONE to many times to keep the conversations going. In public I scare people they can't even get the effin words out of their mouth. Yeah I admit I probably look different.

But if you wanted to see a survivor here she is :)



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  • Hey darlin,

    I understand exactally how you feel. I am a 15 year survivor. Just keep your head up, I promise it will get better. I know how hard it is. I know it is frustrating. I actually had a similar situation, I just didn't have the forum to go onto to talk to people. If you need a friend, you have one. My name is Amber.

    I actually had someone look me up on Facebook, and asked if I was the same person cause they thought I was dead. I almost did die, but I think God had something different for me.

    When I started radiation therapy (after chemo) they had to take a pic of me for records, when I saw the pic, I started to cry. The vibrant girl that I saw before, to me, looked like a monster.

    If you need anything, vent, whatever, give me a shout!