I went to seek a 2nd opinion outside of my home province, to a neuro-oncology specialist. I was being monitored closely at home and then referred to Montreal. In Montreal, I was told that the cancer had progressed and needed to be removed immediately before it gets out of control. Surgery, then chemo and maybe radiation. Ok. I can do this.
Then my Dad calls and asks what the doc said. I tell him, and he FREAKS. He was the one pushing for me to go to a bigger hospital. "How many times are we going to play Russian Roulette with your life?" He is concerned about the risks of surgery (5% chance of death or paralysis). All surgeries have risks, I'm young and healthy. He told my sister "there will be NO surgery."
Every time he calls asking for an explanation of the news, I get as far as the surgery and he flips out and hangs up. He says that I'm shutting him out because I won't let him come to my appointments. He is way too emotional to be sensible in one of my appointments. He says things like "You're not doing this, and you're not doing this." I am simply following the advice of my doctors and doing what is best for my health.
I understand that having an adult child with cancer must be extremely hard. I also understand that his reactions are coming from a good place, and he is trying to control the situation. He refuses to accept that none of us have control over my cancer, and that I am in charge of the decisions I make about my treatment. His anger is making me feel like I'm doing something wrong and that I don't have his support. The only time I cry is when he calls and tries to micro manage my medical care. I am starting to go crazy, and now when he calls I have no patience at all.
HOW DO I DEAL WITH HIGHLY EMOTIONAL PARENTS WHO CANNOT ACCEPT THAT I AM AN ADULT MAKING MY OWN DECISIONS?