Boyfriend is giving me a hard time

I found out that I had cancer back in May of 2012. When my boyfriend of two and a half years found out he shut down on me. Everything changed. I was in and out of the hospital all summer long for surgeries and doctor appointments. As the days went by he would drift away from me and become cold. I found out that when he was ten his grandmother died from cancer and that got me thinking. Maybe that's why he is acting the way he is. But things got worse between us. Over time his mom started acting worse towards me and damned that I clean her house when I lived with them. She would leave a huge mess for me to clean and would cry to her husband if I didn't clean it.

His dad began to call me a two-faced lair when we discovered their animals had fleas. So come to find out the doctors don't want me to stay in the house because I could become sick from the fleas. So I moved back home and things just got worse between the boyfriend and I. I asked him if we could find our own place and he said okay because he doesn't want me to get sick.

But now he has changed his mind about moving out. He wants to live with his parents until the fall and than move out. Catch is he is demanding that I move back in because he doesn't like the idea that the doctors told me I could get sick from the fleas. I'm going through chemo right now.

I just don't know what to think anymore about this. Why move back somewhere where I can get even sicker? But I love being with him and don't want to break up.


  • 4 Comments sorted by Votes Date Added
  • Lucky-
    You HAVE to do what is going to be the best for your health. Without knowing the situation, I am of the thought process that love should be given unconditionally, and especially considering you are going through some of the roughest times in your life right now you need to have supportive, caring people around you. And, you should listen to your Doctors. They give the marching orders, if they say that fleas can make you sick, well that should be avoided. NOW is the most important time to take care of yourself!!
  • If he can't handle things now, it's not a good sign. Your Dr. is right that fleas can be particularly dangerous for you. That, if for no other reason, should be why you move out. And frankly, one's inlaws can really be a drag on a relationship. I have a little experience with that. Neither my wife nor myself especially enjoy each other's parents. For that matter, our OWN parents bother us. I think that's the only thing that keeps them from stressing our relationship. If one of us let our parents manipulate us and take sides and create all sorts of toxic drama, we would not stay married.

    After my diagnosis, I had some friends start to create some toxic drama. They are not my friends anymore. At this point in my life, I don't have time for all that negativity.
  • Hello Lucky, sorry to hear about your situation. In my opinion, you should focus on your health right now. I know it will hurt like hell, but try to forget about your boyfriend for a while. If he really loves you, he will do anything to get you well. Thinking of hard things will just make you sicker. Focus on your health and forget about other things.