Breast Cancer diagnosed 1/10/13

Hello,

I'm having many mixed emotions and feeling down. I feel like I can't let my family know how I feel because I don't want to worry them. I started chemo (taxol) on 1/25/13 and am receiving it weekly. Side effects are not to bad other then mouth sores, body aches and fatigue. I have stage 2 and was recommended by my doc to receive chemo first to shrink the lump and then try lumpectomy or remove the breast. I feel a little exhausted by the thought that I should just have removed the breast so that I don't have to constantly feel like the chemo is not working, or I feel like I have new lumps. I'm worried about the rest of my treatment and how it all is going to work out.

Help.

Jay

Comments

  • 7 Comments sorted by Votes Date Added
  • just an FYI...your family is going to worry whether you tell them how you feel or not. how they handle it will depend on their individual personalities. some can handle listening to your feelings and others won't be able to. you're just going to have to try the waters and see who you can talk to and who you can't. you will probably find at least one unlikely person who is great and you'll probably find that at least one person you thought you could count on is not much help at all. that seems to be a common thread for folks.

    I had a number of friends who couldn't handle it, but I also had some friends who were great and I am closer to them because of that. I also had some family that had a really hard time with it.

    as for your worries about treatment, we've all been there (at least, those of us on this site). my wife and I found yoga to be very helpful for stress and dealing with worry. you may find that or other things to be helpful.
  • Everybody worries about treatment. It's scary--who wouldn't be worried?! I had stage 3 breast cancer, so I did the chemo first and then had a lumpectomy. I did 4 rounds of adriamycin first and then 4 rounds of taxol. For the mouth sores, ask your oncologist for a prescription for "magic mouthwash"--it helped a ton with my mouth sores.

    I didn't want to worry my family either. I lost my dad to cancer 11 years before I was diagnosed and it was so tough to call my mom and tell her that now her daughter had cancer. I know my family and my husband worried sick and I felt so guilty doing that to them (even though that was totally irrational--it's not like it was my fault that I got cancer!). I hid a lot of side effects from everyone because I didn't want them to worry.
  • Thanks for you guys replying back. I'm still struggling and now I notice that I'm losing little strands of hair and my scalp hurts terribly. I'm considering cutting my hair shorter then what it is now to see if the pain subsides some. Is this a common side effect before losing the hair? I have to do 12 weeks of taxol, on the 15th will be my 4th week. How did everything work out for both of you? I have a little girl to live for and she is my motivation but the scariness just doesn't go away. I'm 30 years old and breast cancer does not run in my family. Never in a million years would I have thought that I would be the one.
    My fiance and I are also struggling financially because he got laid off and I'm holding down the fort but I don't know for how long. Temporary disability does not help pay the bills. Just frustrated all around and wanted to release it here.
    Thanks again for responding.
  • How are you today? How long ago were you diagnosed? Did you do genetics testing?
  • My scalp hurt before my hair fell out. My oncologist said that would happen. I shaved my head once my scalp started hurting. I knew that psychologically I wouldn't be able to deal with clumps coming out in the shower. I did the genetic testing, but my cancer wasn't genetic either. I was diagnosed in January 2012 and I finished treatment (8 rounds of chemo, three surgeries, 33 rounds of radiation) in October 2012. Feel free to ask me anything, I feel like I'm an expert on breast cancer now!
  • Hi Misslene78,

    Well I went for my fourth round of taxol yesterday and was examined by my oncologist. Turns out the size of the lump is beginning to shrink which was great news. In April, I should finish taxol and start AC. I got a hair cut because my scalp was hurting so bad, I must say it helped. My hair has begun to fall out so in about another 2 weeks I will get another hair cut. I want to be able to go really really short without having to shock people. I know I shouldn't care what people say and in all reality I don't but hate the stares. Thanks so much for responding back. Hope all is well.
  • That is great news that your tumor is shrinking! My tumor was about 5 cm when I was diagnosed and the chemo shrunk it down to about 1cm, so I was able to have just a lumpectomy afterward.
    I hated being bald. When I got diagnosed, I first thought, oh well, it's just hair, but it's amazing how much confidence I lost when my hair was gone. I'm a really private person, so I hated that people could know that I was sick just by looking at me. I had a wig, but it was really uncomfortable so I hardly ever wore it. I did find this really cool baseball cap with hair attached to the bottom so it looked like I had shoulder length hair and just threw on a baseball cap. My hair is still slowly growing back, I can't wait till it's long again!
    How many rounds of AC are you going to have? I'll give you my AC coping tips before you start!