Oh man

I feel like I'm by myself! Why do people expect that I should be back to "normal?" Is there a normal after cancer?

My family thinks that I should be able to get back in to the swing of things, especially my husband. One person understands me but heaven forbid that I can hang out with him and people not think that something is up! So, he pushes me away because of it! I just wish that he would listen to me!!!!!

I long for "normal" but I fear that my mind will never let me be "normal" again.

:confused:Yikes, this cancer thing has really messed me up!


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  • eglantineeglantine Community Member
    People can be really selfish. Like, they want you to go back to 'normal' sometimes because it makes them feel uncomfortable. I want to say, "I don't live my life to make you 'comfortable'!" I'm only a partner and not a cancer survivor so I can't imagine how much worse it is for you. People feel awkward when you start living a new 'normal' than them.

    Stupid people aside, lol, are you also talking to a therapist? Maybe 'normal' is never going to be the same as before, but if you feel like you're carrying too heavy a load mentally, talking it out with someone who is NOT family/friend is so great. They can also help you find ways to talk to people who don't 'get it'.
  • after cancer, "normal" is definitely different. it changes you, and it affects everyone a little differently. my short term memory is an absolute disaster anymore, but if I can get it into long term memory (much more difficult these days), I'm okay. I spend more time organizing information, particularly dates. That may be the ONE thing that pushes me to a smartphone eventually.

    I also have less tolerance for ridiculousness. I won't have anything to do with people who are idiots/overdramatic/trainwrecks/etc. That even means certain family members get the cold shoulder and avoidance behavior. My life is too precious wasting it on people who don't get it. A bit selfish, yes, but I feel like I've earned the right to be a little selfish, you know, because I almost died...a few times.