[I]I know a lot of you may not be a care taker or caregiver of a person with cancer but just felt I needed to vent in order to get it off my chest. My boyfriend has Hodgkin's Lymphoma and it's been the toughest thing for us to go through in our relationship, more so than other things. People act towards me like everything is fine and dandy and that I'm always ok. No one ever asks has to how I'm doing (especially at work). When he isn't there, they ask, "So how's josh doing?"..Half of the time I just want to say, "I'm doing ok thanks for asking". I just feel invisible towards others because I'm not the one with cancer. Sometimes I feel dead tired, other times I feel drained, other times I'm sad or worried when I'm at work and not at home and being able to be with him. But don't get me wrong, I have good days and am happy when things are going good or at least decent. The only people that seem to understand that I've talked to are people who their mother had cancer, or their spouse had cancer. Not even my parents seem to understand as to what I'm going through, especially when an event is coming up with the family and him or I can't make it for what's going on at the time. It just irritates me sometimes because it feels like no one (other than my boyfriend) gives a sh*t about me.
Thanks for listening & hope other people at least know or understand as to what I feel[/I]