I know everyone's biggest fear is that their partner won't win the fight against cancer, but wtf do you do when the doctors have already told you that there's no winning?
My husband was diagnosed with cancer in January, had his foot amputated in February, and found out that it had spread to his lungs in March. Our daughter was born on a Friday at the end of March, he started chemo the following Monday and was in and out of the hospital almost all of April with extreme nausea and vomiting only to find out that the treatment didn't work.
It didn't. Freaking. Work. Now surgery to remove the tumors in his lungs is no longer an option, which means that the cancer will kill him. They don't know how long he has left or anything, just that it's more than a year. He's really struggling, as anyone would, but it just seems so unfair...to be in your 30s, married for barely over a year, with a baby girl you're worried you won't get to see grow up.
I know that a lot of young cancer patients/survivors and their partners struggle with infertility, but let me tell you, having a baby brings a whole different set of struggles. He gets so sad about missing milestones and worrying that she won't remember him. I get sad about it too. I don't want to do this without him.
I just feel like I've been blindsided by the suck that is cancer. Having a baby is hard enough on its own, you know? I have a whole list of things in my life that suck so much right now, and there's really no end in sight.