Well after months of debating, I did it. . .


  Call me PurpleHeart! I'm a 20 year old female and I don't really know what else to say to be quite honest.

I was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia when I was 14 years old (March 11th, 2009) I finished the full treatment in July 2011. I went two years without treatment and I became a little something special what you call. . . a "late relapse" patient; meaning I relapsed on March 27th, 2014.

I'm on medical leave from my college, UCB and I miss it a lot. I miss my busy, poor, student life. I feel incredibly stupid for having to move back home and be dependent on my mother once again.

I've been debating whether I should sign up here or not, why? I don't know. I think I should have done this a long time ago since I often felt alone and severely depressed to the point of suicide. I denied antidepressants for months, thinking it wasn't for me and that I could do this like last time. I knew it was going to be hard but I feel like relapse is more heartbreaking than your first diagnosis. I was shattered when I found out that a nightmare from the past grabbed me and made me relive something that I once thought I would only face ONCE.

BUUUUTTTT shit happens ya know? What can you do? You can't always mourn around. The best that you can do is learn more from this experience, hope for the best and continue moving forward.

I am a bone marrow post transplant also. I got my 9/10 transplant on August 13th so it's been 6 months now. I'm doing okay so far, just having issues with my intestines. Not sure if its from GVHD, infection, or from a study drug that's upsetting my intestines but it seems like my body is making small SLOW progress! Better than NO PROGRESS so I won't complain much. I am also currently on antidepressants, Remeron (Mirtazapine), which finally kicked in fully and has REALLY brought up my spirits. It has also helped me recover at least two of my favorite hobbies; art and reading.

I have hair growing back on my head but since I recently got over the bad case of skin GVHD, my hair is falling off again which is okay :] I have embraced being bald AND I believe every girl/woman should shave their head at least ONCE in their lifetime. You'd think you'd look like a boy but without all the hair, your feminism actually pops out more and you end up getting this crazy rush of confidence :] so I'm going to be buzzing my hair again for a fresh start and start a new hobby. I love dying my hair but currently, I am unable to :c so I decided to take interest in makeup and crazy colored wigs because I CAN. Might as well learn to have fun in another way.

Anyways, this sums up to be me and this is my introduction :]

Thanks for your time and love.

Wishing you all the best and lending my strength to every warrior out there~




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  • You're absolutely right, facing cancer once is more than enough for anyone! I had really long hair all my life before I had chemo and I am actually really enjoying my short hair now - I kind of feel like a badass... ;) Anyway, welcome, hope things just continue to improve for you from here on out.
  • Welcome Purple Heart!!!!!!

    I can relate with you on the hair dye. I love dying my hair. I change mine almost monthly. I love colors...the brighter the better. And why not mix it up? Pinks and purples are my favorite shades. But I've tried everything. I'm currently purple and loving it.

    I've never shaved my entire head, but last year I shaved the one side and rocked it! I did feel more empowered just by doing the one side. I also realized that bald wouldn't be so bad. It might actually look good on me! Anyways, I now keep it asymmetrical...I love having the one side shorter than the other. It's edgy. And it's nice to have two different looks. Sometimes I still feel like two different people in my head. I'm the me that people know had cancer and still worry about. Then I can be a normal girl around strangers that don't know I had cancer. They treat me like normal. You either know I had it or you don't. And you will look at me differently depending on what you know. Just like depending on if you looked at me from my short hair side or my long hair side.

    I don't know what it is like to be told your cancer is back, but it's that fear in your head that's always there. And everyone here can relate in that respect. I'm happy you signed up and introduced yourself! We all get it and are here for each other...glad you could join in!

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