Trying to get pregnant

Hi, 

I've never posted here, but I was hoping someone else might have the same issue and know where to look or have any advice.

I'm a childhood cancer survivor.  I was diagnosed at age 5 with ALL, I relapsed at 7 and had a bone marrow transplant from my brother.  That's the past, on to the current.  I was told when I was young that I probably wouldn't be able to have kids and that I'd go through menopause by the time I was 30.  Well, I'm 29 now and in a very commited relationship.  My boyfriend and I have been looking extensively into getting pregnant as it's what we want most, to have a child together and there may be little time to accomplish that.  So, I went into my general GYN and my AMH levels are extreamly low.  So I went to see a specialist who told me that AMH levels aren't everything and to go off the pill and see if I could get a period.  Well I did, it's not very regular, but it's there.  So even though my AMH levels say I'm post menopausal, my period says otherwise.  Well, to go further, I'm getting blood tests done now and I'm seeing the general GYN and I'm even using an ovulation test right now to see if we can get pregnant.  I know the chances are low, but I really believe that I will have my own child of my blood.  I just wanted to know if anyone is in this boat, feels like I do, or even has any information.  I'm not sure how much I really want as I'm scared to look online too much and only see bad/sad information and get discouraged, but I thought someone here just might have a story to tell.  Anyone willing to share?

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  • I can relate on many levels. Although I had my period all throughout treatment (diagnosed with Lymphoma) I have now missed my period and could be having menopausal symptoms. I want a family more than anything and my boyfriend and I talk about it all the time. Although we are not trying quite yet, we both know we want a family with one another. It makes me feel very guilty to know I may not be able to fulfill that part. I wish I could help more. Although I have some differences from you, please feel free to reach out to me anytime.
  • KarenKaren Community Member
    Thanks chachel89.  I feel guilty too.  I am so grateful for this site, I finally have someone to really talk to without burdening others or talking to someone who just doesn't understand.  When I try to talk to my boyfriend he just gets upset and emotional, even moody and it just makes things worse.  It's not his fault, he's concerned and really wants a child too, it must be frustrating on his side.  One positive that I thought I should share with you, when I went to the specialist, they did tell me that if I couldn't get pregnant, that I could still carry a child.  SO, I can carry my bf's child, and I would carry and deliver it so even if not by blood, I could still have that full mother attachment.  That was a nice light at a long tunnel darkened by doctors for years.  Thanks for reaching out to me, the same goes for you.  It's good to talk, air things out where others understand and actual care even though you've never met them.  
  • That's so great they said you could still carry a child! I'm all for adoption but I still want the experience of having a child. I tried fertility treatments right when j started chemo but they didn't work. The people there were awful too. I truly believe it didn't work because of how mean they were to me. I've brought up not being able to have children with my boyfriend and he always tells me it is ok and we will figure it out but I cannot help but think that he would be a little disappointed if we couldn't. And that would make me feel awful, he didn't sign up for that. It is really nice being able to talk with someone who understands. I have a couple good friends I could always talk to, and they are supportive, but it's not something they can relate to.

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