I had anal cancer. It wasn't even listed on the pre-printed diagnostic forms at the oncologist.
And I know I'm older than a lot of people in the 'stupid cancer' world... I was 36 when I was diagnosed (summer 2014), and I just celebrated my "1 year ago I finished treatment" anniversary. But who else am I supposed to turn to? Most people who get this cancer are in their 60s, or they are HIV positive. Not me. I just had a "lucky" freak convergence of risk factors... and one stupid cell that decided to say "fuck you" to the rest of my body.
Don't get me wrong! I'm unbelievably thankful for every day! And I'm thankful that it was caught at an early stage (2) and that it was curable!
But I don't know... now what?! I'm single... never married... no kids... 5 frozen eggs in a facility somewhere... who knows what will happen with that...
It's just a little isolating, I guess... I don't know anyone else who had my cancer.
And now it's over, so to speak. I go for my next 3 month checkup this week. But there really is no getting back to normal... it's about defining a new normal? I don't know... I just know I'm a totally different person now, even though I'm exactly the same... does that make sense?
Not sure how to move on. Not sure how to just start dating again as if it isn't the pink elephant in my head. It's never easy to put yourself out there... this just takes it to a whole different level.
Anyone have any thoughts to share? About post-cancer dating? Or colorectal/anal cancer? Or life? ha! :-)