Again I am writing about me feeling sad. I had a really hard day yesterday trying to keep back the tears. I have had a horrendous month, In a single swoop my Mum had a bleed to the brain, a stroke and a ten centimetre blood clot in her calf which we were worried about it travelling to her heart and killing her. From the medical staff we had laps attitude to her rehabilitation, recovery and recording of information. So again going through the hospital system feeling just like a number in a system.
On top of that I am having cardiology investigations and I live day to day with cranial brain tumours, spinal tumors, endocrine issues and chronic pain. Also to top that off my spinal tumors are now growing again for the third time.
I am at my limit......and this week I have witnessed all of my female school friends with their partners go to Ibiza for one of their weddings without me being able to go.
For 1 - with my list of ailments I would never get holiday insurance.
2 - I could not afford it because I can't work.
I just hate that this is it. The cancer has robbed me from progressing since I was nineteen. I am thirty three now. Friends are getting married, having children, buying houses. Building careers. I wanted all of that. I just feel stuck. If there is anyone with any advice on how they manage to work if they suffer from chronic pain as a result of cancer or another condition I would really appreciate some ideas on how you manage it.
Also any stories on how others progressed when they are thrown back into the real world? I could just do with a bit of inspiration or guidance.