I just really need to say how much cancer sucks. how brutal it is to not only the person living with it, but everyone around them too. watching someone be put through the ringer is no fucking joke. I have seen things in the past three years I can honestly say changed me. I have seen things that I wouldn't want to go through, let alone watch someone I love go through. fuck man, it breaks my heart. my (new!) fiancé has been fighting extra hard for life lately, two PACE treatments in July, then a wicked fungal infection in August, back on treatment in September, now he is living on blood transfusions and platelet transfusions at least once a week. it's times life these I thank every blood donor I know, if he couldn't get blood transfusions every week he wouldn't be here. we cry about that thought a lot, him not being here. we've been crying a lot lately, it's been a rough few months. it's so hard not to feel depressed and so alone. cancer sucks, it really fucking sucks.