I am struggling super hard with life after everything. I guess I'm a rare breed because I haven't met anyone or heard from anyone that I connect with who can help me through this all. I am 5 months out of treatment, I knew I'd have regular follow ups and stuff but I, for some reason, thought that once I finished the stupid chemo and radiation that I would be me again. But now I have lymphedema, a different body, my brain is foggy all the time, I'm slow and forget everything, I am unbelievably depressed, I feel so alone and I have felt so alone throughout the whole thing. I am not even a percentage of who I used to be and I am ashamed of myself for even doing the stupid treatment in the first place. I don't know what to do and I don't know how to get back to me. I used to be strong, smart, fast, caring, aware, functioning, flexible, unstoppable... so I thought. But chemo and radiation stopped me. I used to be a super hero and now I'm a useless blob and I think that's destroying me... If there is anyone who feels the same, felt the same, was the same, knows the same, and can provide any sort of guidance... Even if it's a simple "Hey, in one more year all this shit will fade away and you'll feel like yourself again." That would be tight, cause right now I am not doing well and don't know where to go from here.