Am I too old? 41 years and all ....

TazTaz Community Member
Not exactly trying to be snarky, but 39 came and went a couple years ago. Yet I keep hearing from medical professionals how young I am. That my type of cancer rarely strikes anyone under 45, usually 50. (Triple neg breast cancer.) It's weird to suddenly be "young" again.

Single, never married, no kids. I did an ACS peer ambassador call with a woman in her mid-30s and I totally couldn't relate to her concerns about breast reconstruction just to keep the hubby happy or doing what she needs to do because she doesn't just have kids, she has daughters - god forbid!

Is this a community where I'll be welcome? Maybe meet some kindred spirits?

I value honesty.

~ Taz

Comments

  • 4 Comments sorted by Votes Date Added
  • MHoodMHood Community Member, Moderator
    Age is nothing but a number. We have some very active people in our community who are in their early 40s. It just all depends on how you feel socially and who you make connections with. I hope that you will find some kindred spirits here.
  • juls4juls4 Community Member
    I'm 34 and had Stage 2A triple negative. I've always felt that the worst part of cancer was dealing with fear and loss. When I was first diagnosed, I kept trying to find people who were in my same situation and dealing with my same fears and losses and but even when I did find someone in my situation on forums, it didn't make me feel better because I still didn't have any real solutions for how to cope. I eventually started looking at it differently and decided that every person has dealt with fear and loss, and so I could relate to anyone by just saying, "I was really hopeful for X in my future...and now I don't know if that will ever happen for me" or "I'm worried I'll never get my health back". MANY people can relate to these types of fears and losses. There are sooo many women's issues that women never talk about publicly so women often understand the struggle to make life changing surgical decisions and living with a body that wasn't what it used to be. Even people who had never gone through similar issues often had really helpful suggestions or comforting words. And being really honest with those around me kept my relationships normal instead of the awkwardness that can happen if someone is afraid of what to say to you.

    As far as reconstruction, I'm married but I wasn't about to have reconstruction for his sake! He honestly didn't care either way, but I felt it was my body, my risk of surgery, and something I have to look at in the mirror everyday so I should do what's best for me and me alone. I only had a single mastectomy, mainly because I'm confident that even if I get a second cancer, the screening I now get will catch the cancer so early that it will be a piece of cake to treat. I was also afraid that with bilateral surgery I would develop body image issues, but felt like I could easily handle the loss of one breast. I was really eager to get back to normal life as soon as possible because I had just begun a new career when I was diagnosed, and I didn't want to be out of work longer than necessary. I was only a candidate for implants and reconstruction was 3 extra months of appointments to stretch the the skin, and then an additional surgery. So no reconstructio for me. I was worried I would struggle with the loss and the constant reminder of cancer, but it doesn't bother me at all. I've gotten to the point where I'm comfortable not even wearing a prosthetic because I feel like it's important for people to see a cancer survivor who is happy, energetic, and comfortable in her body despite missing a piece!

    Do you have any particular concerns about cancer and treatment? Maybe you can find someone to relate to your specific situation if you provide some detail about your biggest struggles so far.
  • ElenaElena Community Member
    Well, I am 41 and was diagnosed with ovarian cancer a month ago. I could not find other communities of my age, so I am here for now. And like MHood said age is nothing but numbers...
  • Geeker89Geeker89 Community Member
    It's funny that you post that. I had the same experience. I was 45 when diagnosed and all the doctors keep telling me that I'm so young. However, I spent some time looking through these posts and all these young adults in their 20's and early 30's just blows my mind.

    Perhaps its just more common for younger adults to join online communities than it is for people my age. Anyway... I'm here and I'm 46. So you're not that old.

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