So spending 7 months not being able to function REALLY brought my boyfriend and I to another level in our relationship, we have been together for almost two years now and spending almost half that time in a hospital just trying to survive made it hard for us to have "us" time, not to mention the chemo and Lupron completely shutting down my lady parts making it close to impossible to share any pleasure with each other but we did the best we could and we powered through, we are now in remission and have been able to get back to "us" time and a pretty amazing relationship. Only lately I have been feeling ill and tired and decided to go in for a physical to make sure everything is starting to work properly again, only to hear back from my doctor that I now have HPV and although it is low risk it is more of a risk with my immune system it could lead to cervical cancer, it is like once we climb one mountain there is another right next to it, I just want a break. One thing that kept me going during chemo was the thought I would come out of treatment with a brand new pure body ready to start a new life with the ones I love, and now it feels like I just got punched in the gut and it is hard to breath. I just want to live a life where I don't have to worry about my body doing its part I want to be able to live and doing stupid things and have fun instead of being paranoid with every decision I make. This is a rant and I am sorry to throw it all out there I am just tired of being the person who always talks about health issues and here I can just let it out.