Wedding night ruined

I'm 25 years old and I have been with my fiancé for 6 years and we are (finally!) getting married next month. Back in Feb I was diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer--right off the bat, one day I seemed perfectly healthy and the next I have a 6.5 cm tumor in my breast and growing tumors in my back and liver. No surgery for me, only chemo for 6 months and then biologics "indefinitely." It just so happens that my chemo ends about 3 weeks before my wedding night and my 8 night honeymoon. Sex is beyond painful, my vagina burns with every touch. My gyn, who seems genuinely unconcerned by the whole thing, has recommended various lubes all to no avail. I've tried relaxing, exercising, masturbating, and all sorts of foreplay with my fiancé to "relax and be in the moment" in hopes that would turn me on enough to have pleasurable sex. BUT NOTHING WORKS. I'm 25 and I'm already going into painful menopause RIGHT BEFORE MY WEDDING NIGHT. Now, I have the world's most amazing fiancé and I truly would not be alive today without his love, support, and help through this fucking journey. Which is a huge part of the reason I want to have sex with him every night of this long awaited wedding and vacation. If you saw my fiancé, you'd want to too! (Back off ;)) Lubes don't work. My cancer feeds off estrogen so no hormonal treatments can even be recommended. "Relaxing" (as if I can even remember the definition of the word) doesn't do squat. Time MAY help. But I don't have time. I have 3 weeks to recoup from a rigorous 6 month chemotherapy treatment--which is impossible. Now I know I can please my man in more ways than by vaginal intercourse--but am I to get a crick in my neck every night?! I'm going to fucking Jamaica--this is our reward for getting through hell!--and I can't have sex? On my honeymoon? Yea I know that I should be thankful the chemo is working, I at least have my life and the love of it, and after all "you're going to fucking Jamaica!" Be grateful. But no woman (or man) in their right mind is going to be okay with not having sex on their honeymoon--for any reason. My body has completely and utterly betrayed me.


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