Anxiety after cancer...

Just got back from a bunch of tests after being anxious about cancer relapse/health complications. All tests were normal and once a again, the problem is in my head. I am thankful for the good results of course, but wondering how to keep a normal life going with the doom of cancer looming over my head all the time. No one seems to understand, my family and close friends get mad at me for going to the doctor, no doctor wants to see me and keeps saying, "you're fine, go and enjoy life". I do for the most part, but then it keeps coming back to worry and anxiety. I feel guilty even writing this bc I know how sick I was and how bad cancer was, but why must life after cancer be so hard as well. It isn't as easy as go enjoy life. Anybody else out there like me or am I really stupid for not knowing how to deal with this? I've tried everything, therapy, meditation, food, exercise, and sometimes it works, but then I try too hard and run myself down, which leads to more feelings about being tired and it must be cancer again. I just want to go hide in a CatScan machine and be told I am OK.
Tagged:

Comments

  • 4 Comments sorted by Votes Date Added
  • I can be a bit OCD which I think contributes to my paranoia about any health related symptoms... I report whatever I'm feeling to my doctors and if something is really bothering me I might emphasize that. In the end though I know I have great doctors and I try my best to be patient and let them do their job. But you are not alone in getting anxious about whatever little symptom or every scan!
  • This is a big issue with surviving cancer. I think that a life looking over your shoulder is better then no life. I know that's dumb, but really think about that next time someone says "go have fun". Maybe they understand completely, but what are they gonna say to you? "Well you'll be physically ok, but mentally your going to be messed up"? Sometimes the person is just trying to plant that seed of a happy thought. Try not to put them down as its a huge help to have that around. People walk away from this differently, and people have different experiences. If it does come back, do you want to look at your life and see that you didn't enjoy whatever you could. Yes I know its not that simple, but to have the thought is.
  • I've been experiencing some similar feelings recently. I am not done with treatment yet (I have one more chemo left) but I am very anxious to transition back into my life before cancer. Cancer made me a very anxious and slightly depressed person and I'm worried that I'm not going to be able to go back to my old self. Plus, how do I know this cancer won't come back? You're definitely not alone.
  • Congrats on one more treatment! I don't think we are ever our old selves again, we become new selves and we need to reinvent who we are vs. who we were. At least that's what I have found. I struggle with the worry of cancer coming back, every pain, bump, feeling, but that's my cross to bear, other people have other worries. Seeing that we all have have 'something' helps us move through the human condition of pain and suffering. Thanks for your comment, none of us are alone and I am grateful for the community here. Good luck with your last treatment and don't be too hard on your self to fit back into your old self. Cancer changes us, but sometimes, I am happy with the new me. Hope you are too.

Leave a Comment