just another angry dude

i never ever thought my life would be like this or that i would be like this. I am just always filled with so much anger, but i understand that things are out of my control. i wrongly lash out at those that care for me, only too wear down the only support i have. At this point i feel like all of this is pointless, i feel like i make people miserable and that i am a a burden.

Only too have my fears confirmed a few days ago, my girlfriend and mother confronted me about how i make them feel and that i need to get some kind of help. Now i just feel angry or apathetic, i feel like i should just go numb around them or just play like a dummy with no emotions. I am just very upset and dont know what to think right now. Maybe they're right and all i need is another pill, or to pay to talk to some stranger that i fear may do more damage than repair. I guess all in all i feel backed against a wall.