Everyone Sucks

If you've been diagnosed I'm sure you know how in the beginning everyone swarms at you all at once. I was diagnosed in July with ALL leukemia, and from the moment people found out they didn't stop leaving me alone. It was overwhelming at first and I just wanted to be left alone. I wish that feeling lasted because now almost 6 months after my diagnosis everyone seems to disappear. Its like everyone got used to the idea that i have cancer and its a norm now. My friends suck too because they simply don't get It. I get kind of jealous when they go out on the weekends and I sit home and watch It on snapchat. School sucks too because I go to a small college and everyone has their group. I don't have mine because I was a transfer and was supposed to start this September. I took the whole year off. Also no one understands that its not just the cancer that sucks, its legit everything. I'm ugly now, my friends don't get It, people stop coming around, I can't even leave the house, I have anxiety all day and all I want to do is cry most of the time but I don't.

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  • I feel you. It’s a weird limbo between not wanting to deal with peoples dumb reactions to cancer and wishing that they would just come hang out and be normal. I was on leave from work for 5 months and went back when my first chemo treatment was over, and just as I’m getting back to my life, I got told that the cancer was still there. You lose your hair and people sympathize at first but then life goes on. I guess we sort of expect life around us to change but realistically we know that other people get over the shock value and move on while we’re stuck with all the doctors appointments and crap. I know you said you’re doing school but I’ve also found that a good remedy to not having many friends is to try and keep busy. I hate cleaning my house but sometimes is therapeutic to clear your space. I also bought a beginners yoga DVD to do in my house. Art? Netflix? Books? Cooking? Also I’m here if you need a friend, cuz bro I totally get it.
  • I know! people just don't get it. my parents don't even realize the seriousness that I may not live through the year of 2018 and I am not going to expect my friends understand what I've been through. college can be hard cause people are not as mature to actually care about their friends, but adult world can be brutal too. I work in a cancer research lab, ironically people around me just don't give a shit about the fact that it's hard for me to be a fully functional person as they are. I always believe if someone's interested in cancer research they gotta have a kind heart toward those who suffer from cancer, but they just believe cancer is something intellectually challenging and a step-stone to a successful career, and some of my coworkers believe that I'm an adult and I know what I signed up for, and that I'm a lazy person who always uses cancer as an excuse.. what I'm trying to say here is that you gotta fight for yourself and those people who really care about you, do things you enjoy to do and live a happy life, I know it's a hard thing to do, but you are not alone. life is too short to be wasted on people that don't matter