The "good" cancer?

Disclaimer: I didn't realize until after joining this community that the site is aimed primarily at younger adults. I'm in my 50's, so please accept my apologies. I just need a place to vent.

On April 20, 2016, I was diagnosed with Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia (CLL). When the doctor came in, he said, "Well, if there was a "good" cancer to have, this was it.

Seriously? Did he just say that? Yes, he did.

And it wasn't just my doctor, either. Many friends have uttered the same words, though not in the exact same form.

I went by a local restaurant to get a bite to eat on my way home from work one day, and one of the employees, who had heard about my diagnosis, the lady behind the counter said, "I'm so sorry to hear this." And instead of encouraging words, she went on to say: "My brother died of the same thing last year." JUST what I need to hear, right?

Another acquaintance who is both a young adult and a nurse, said, "Oh I know a little about it. It's an old people's disease." As if to say that only "old" people get it. On another discussion board, I ran across a 27-year-old female who had just been diagnosed with CLL, despite being very healthy and an avid runner.

When you hear that word, "cancer," attached to your name, it just does something to you.

I feel like something died inside of me.

I'm still working, because I've got 8 years until I can retire. Don't get me wrong...I LOVE my truly is my dream to be a Law Enforcement Officer. But even if I wanted to retire now, I can't, because I need the insurance.

There is NO "good" cancer.

Thanks for helps me to put my feelings out's therapeutic for me.