High School + Cancer = ??

As a high school senior I feel like fitting in is such a big part of my life. But recently I realized the girl who has two parents with cancer is naturally gonna stick out. I hid the fact that I had two sick parents from my peers for a long time, but then the secret got out and now I'm looked at as an outcast. People are scared to step on my toes or even discuss a debatable topic with me. I just want life to go back to normal, I don't like this new normal of chemotherapy and hospital visits. I just want this all to end and get on with my life.

They say "God sends his toughest warriors to fight his toughest battles," but I feel like I am unable to handle all of this. Between high school, college next year, cancer; how much more can I take at once? I feel like I have changed too much from this and I want my old life back, now all I have to think about is germs and medications.

I just want my old life back.

Comments

  • 2 Comments sorted by Votes Date Added
  • emkatemkat Community Member
    Just be yourself, support your parents, and forget everything else. I want my old life back too but we've got to push forward. There's too much in life to look forward to, focus on that! You got this!
  • Q4lifeQ4life Community Member
    That identity is dead & gone like a TI song. Trust me I feel you. I was diagnosed with cancer last year. I want it to be over. The chemo. The pain. The side effects. The nurses in hazmat suits as I present a bare vein. Mastectomy scars. Oophorectomy scars. Pills. Needles. Feeling exhausted & having responsibilities. Obligations. Etc.

    Have your time. Feel your feelings. Vent. When you are done remember you have an advantage now. You can handle tough shit that others who are Norms won’t understand. They treat you differently because you come now with emotional baggage. Experience of pain & how to overcome it as well as cope. Thrive despite it.

    Perspective is key. Remember every experience is beneficial depends how you use it. It can teach you something.

    Also this experience is removing those who will most likely ghost you, be fearful or inauthentic when facing a challenge. Like the song The Impression That I Get
    By The Mighty Mighty Bosstones. Most people never really had challenges that dissolve their identity.

    Just call people on their shit. You will be able to read bullshit very easily & sense things that will weird people out because you are not following society’s script.

    Realize it’s their issue with you. Your Situation. Not your issue with them. You are more than the label of cancer caregiver. Just remember to breathe. Feel your feelings. Let them pass through you don’t hold onto them. Find things like running to release stress or try a sport. Boxing helped me. Dancing too. Hope this helps.