Fmylife

(This will be 1 long sentence cuz I don't give a rat's bootie)
I was 14 and pretty and tall and had long brown hair which I loved and friends and good grades in school and I saw everyone every day all day and I went to football games and I went to see my family in Kansas almost every weekend and went to Worlds of Fun a lot before it closed for the winter and I freaking loved life and I'm still 14 and I'm not so pretty (I lost like 15 lbs so my face is real thin) and I'm still tall but w/e and I have no hair and I never see my friends and I haven't been to school in more than 3 months and I never see anyone besides my parents and my doctor and I haven't seen much of my family since I was last inpatient and I HATE LIFE.

done.

Comments

  • 5 Comments sorted by Votes Date Added
  • I really wish I could just wave a magic wand and make everything better for you (and for all of us on here). I bet you'll be so happy to be back in school when you get there (no more wishing for snow days), I know I never thought I'd appreciate school so much. I took a semster off college with my diagnosis and getting back to school has been wonderful, I plan on not going home for breaks- just doctors appointments when I have to :) Hang in there Taylor!
  • Taylor Shayne Porter;1014 said:
    (This will be 1 long sentence cuz I don't give a rat's bootie)
    I was 14 and pretty and tall and had long brown hair which I loved and friends and good grades in school and I saw everyone every day all day and I went to football games and I went to see my family in Kansas almost every weekend and went to Worlds of Fun a lot before it closed for the winter and I freaking loved life and I'm still 14 and I'm not so pretty (I lost like 15 lbs so my face is real thin) and I'm still tall but w/e and I have no hair and I never see my friends and I haven't been to school in more than 3 months and I never see anyone besides my parents and my doctor and I haven't seen much of my family since I was last inpatient and I HATE LIFE.

    done.

    None of us can make it better but we get it. And sometimes that's all you need =)
  • I always miss school/work when I can't go. I guess I'm kind-of a nerd in that I miss learning things but it's nice to see everyone every day and have a normal routine you know?

    Can you facebook/email your friends or are they being unsympathetic? Most of my friends are/were the latter; it's tough as a teenager because lots of people aren't mature enough to "get it" yet. Then again, some adults aren't either ;) I also understand how you feel about seeing the same people every day, it's nice to have visitors to break up the monotony!

    Viola said it best, there's not much we can do to make it better but we get it.
  • Taylor Shayne Porter;1014 said:
    (This will be 1 long sentence cuz I don't give a rat's bootie)
    I was 14 and pretty and tall and had long brown hair which I loved and friends and good grades in school and I saw everyone every day all day and I went to football games and I went to see my family in Kansas almost every weekend and went to Worlds of Fun a lot before it closed for the winter and I freaking loved life and I'm still 14 and I'm not so pretty (I lost like 15 lbs so my face is real thin) and I'm still tall but w/e and I have no hair and I never see my friends and I haven't been to school in more than 3 months and I never see anyone besides my parents and my doctor and I haven't seen much of my family since I was last inpatient and I HATE LIFE.
    done.
    WHOA! You just made cancer treatment your bee-atch! That was an impressive shout out! Good for you for letting out a little anger, it f-ing sucks, for sure. The good news? It's temporary! You are doing everything right now to save your life so that you can get back to doing the things you love. Cancer and treatment is so LONELY, even when your with people, it's just a total hijack of your life. But, it is temporary, at least the phase you are in now. I suggest you look into First Descents. When you are out of acute treatment anyway, it sounds like just what you need. www.firstdescents.org
    I also want to tell you that you ARE still pretty and tall and that hair was totally long and fun and who you are but still I believe hair is overrated (mine was like 4 ft and straight and blonde, now its brown with some sassy curl). YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS! Can you tell us more about your cancer, stage, treatment plan etc?
    BIG LOVE xoxo MUAH!
  • Oh Taylor! Totally can sympathize...during my treatment I had to miss a year of college, my job, my friends and my life got put on hold. But Amanda is right, it is temporary. It doesn't seem like it right now, but it will get better. Try to find some little bits of happiness, it is hard but they are there. It is very lonely, and no one seems to get it. BUT we do! You vent whenever you need to. And no matter how down you may feel, you still are an amazing, beautiful girl who happens to have cancer. Sending ya some love!!