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Best Worst Cancer Lines

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  • 1goodbean1goodbean Community Member
    This isn't exactly something someone said to me, but here's the sitch. I'm 26 and female. ALL kidney related stuff is always wrapped up in the same department at prostate. It's quite awkward going to appointments with men 30+ years older than me and seeing diagrams and models of penis's everywhere....

    Out of love, my cousins and sister would call me a mutant and make fun of the way I was standing and walking. I did sort of look like gollum for LotR....
  • pmonkspmonks Community Member
    Trevor Howe;3363 said:
    I just recently had a stem cell transplant (62 days ago) and after losing 50+ lbs in 30 days my doctor told me she wanted me to put on a significant weight. With that, I said "But it's swimsuit season and I'm just one transplant away from my goal weight."
    She was not amused.

    That's funny. My doctor says that oncologists are the only doctors that want their patients to put on more weight.
  • Colleen;1264 said:
    Yeah, my dad used the "easy cancer"/"easy 'chemo'" (RAI) line a lot right after I had thyroid surgery and was getting RAI treatment. He's a doctor and I knew he was just trying to make me feel better, mostly about the time it would take to finish. It SHOULD have been easier (physically at least) than other treatments, had I not gotten every weird side effect in the book.
    SAME HERE! Thyroid Cancer = Best cancer to have... my ass!! I had so many side effects I won't bored you with them all! the funny thing to me is how many of us with different cancers were all told that ours was the best to have. ridiculous.
  • Julie Cecys;3577 said:
    SAME HERE! Thyroid Cancer = Best cancer to have... my ass!! I had so many side effects I won't bored you with them all! the funny thing to me is how many of us with different cancers were all told that ours was the best to have. ridiculous.
    I wasn't exactly told that...but I was told that of all of the subtypes of acute myeloid leukemia, M2 has one of the better prognoses. Other subtypes don't have such good survival rates.
  • MelindaMelinda Community Member
    Hilly Hill;1224 said:
    My favorite is when people say, "Your so lucky! You don't have to deal with periods anymore." Umm....yeah thanks. Because I did have major surgery, instant and intense menopause, and lost all capability to have kids, but it's cool because I don't have a monthly visitor anymore. Yeah, nice trade. Stupid people.
    So many people have said this to me!!
  • RaeLeahRaeLeah Community Member
    Julie Cecys;3577 said:
    SAME HERE! Thyroid Cancer = Best cancer to have... my ass!! I had so many side effects I won't bored you with them all! the funny thing to me is how many of us with different cancers were all told that ours was the best to have. ridiculous.

    I agree with you. I had Hodgkin's Lymphoma, and I was told it was the best cancer to have.

    I wonder if that's a line they're trained to say in med school?
  • RaeLeah;3638 said:
    I wonder if that's a line they're trained to say in med school?
    ^^I know for a fact they are told to sugar coat most things... I see right through all his BS with all the medical classes I've taken throughout my years in college and call him out on it and now he just shakes his head and laughs and tells me I should really go to med school to be and endocrinologist because I clearly already know everything. haha .. we're bff's for sure.. I'm pretty much his favorite patient haha ;)
  • When I got diagnosed in September 2010, I started to think everyone I knew had invested in some kind of "horrible lines to say to cancer patients" book that I'd never heard of, because 80% of the people who talked to me all had the same things to say:

    "Oh! You are so lucky that it's just Hodgkin's!"
    "isn't that, like, cancer light?"

    Right. Because I am soooooo lucky to have cancer. It's only completely changed my life. That's all.

    Now that I'm not hugging a bucket on a daily basis, people feel inclined to tell me how "healthy" I look. I know they're trying to be nice, but thats one of those cancer-compliments (like "you have such a great head!") that drives me crazy and makes me feel like i'll never be normal again.
  • amandabcs;1709 said:
    Yeah, when the doctor put that sentence into the air from his mouth (my diagnosis) my reaction was so natural! Looking back, it was very California-esque and I probably sounded like a Valley Girl. Anyway, I looked at him like he was nuts, with my face all scrunched up and confused I told him, "SHUT-UP" That was 1/2 serious & rhetorical and 1/2 'whatcho talkin' bout Willis?

    when my dr told me i just kinda nodded my head and said oh ok (at the time i was just telling myself it was a dream so i just played along.. well april fools dumbass) well my dr just stared at me waiting for me to burst or something... then i had to go to the scedual lady to meet my oncologist and all of a sudden this nurse comes up behind me and just places her hand on my shoulder i was like WTF DID EVERYONE KNOW BEFORE I DID!!! just creepers i tell ya
  • DMM;1259 said:
    Yeah, I heard something similar with my first cancer...."Oh, well if you had to get cancer, that is probably the best one to get". Yeah...you have your uterus ripped out of your body at age 25 before you ever had a chance to even think about having kids. Some people's children are just F-ing Stupid! :p

    thats the line i was told when i was told i had hodgkins... some people are idiots
  • just yesterday i was by this one lady and she was telling about a man and then she said "well he was just as bald as you" way to help my self-esteam
  • bpojb03bpojb03 Community Member
    you guys are awesome! i laughed so hard reading some of these :D

    needed that today. Thanx!

    i should stop trying to comfort other people about my cancer. i should own it and just be like yup cancer, deal with it. educate yourself because im tired of explaining it.

    i have already heard many of these lines: its the good kind, lucky you caught it early, take care of yourself, be healthy already, stop losing weight, youre my hero, but you look so healthy (from people who dont know me), at least now you know what it is (from people who do know me).

    but mostly, to my face, my friends and family seem to understand. they are calm and collected and willing to hang out and have fun. until i overhear them telling someone else and they get everything wrong and it is all of a sudden the end of the world. ugh.
  • IMColonIMColon Community Member
    Lulu L;1223 said:
    most annoying for me is people telling me having cancer/chemo/treatment will make me stronger!!!!

    no it bloody wont... it will make make me very weak and very sick LOL..... anyway i was a pretty strong, independent individual before this happened... grrrr!

    Mish i get fed up with folk thinking yoru cancer was nothing just because you have been lucky enough to survive it.... i get that 'oh your fine now you got the all clear hey'! well im fine for the mo ta

    Yes, the latter is annoying...people don't realize that some of us are still thinking about what may happen down the line...if it'll come back or if we'll have complications...I guess I must be great now that it's been over five years...oh wait...but what's that pressure on my chest. First doctor said it must not be anything since the x-ray came out fine and I'm pretty young...yet I was diagnosed with 'asthma' by the second doctor since my breathing was wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy below average.
  • This isn't really directly cancer related, but when I was in the hospital after they removed my tumor, two days after the surgery a doctor came in and started discussing discharge plans with me... uhhhh hello, I just had brain surgery and you want me to travel by car all the way back to Idaho in the summer? Luckily my mom was there and was like "I don't really feel comfortable with this plan" and he was like "Oh I know what you mean, last summer I drove to Florida with my dog and all I could think about was what if something happens to him?" ...what?! I started to cry and my mom kicked him out, lol. When my surgeon came in to check on me later that day he was shocked and said that it shouldn't have even happened because no one else is allowed to see his patients without his explicit permission... so we don't know how that guy slipped through the cracks but we never saw him again lol.

    I'm really tired of hearing "Oh you look so good" too. Yeah because I'm wearing a hat and you can't see the scar or the giant bald spot on the top of my head. That's another thing, because of the surgery, people were really surprised they didn't have to shave half my head before they cut it open, and would always, ALWAYS comment on it. It got really old really fast.
  • The best one i get is "Dude that scar is going to be awesome!" Yeah.... Kinda rather still have all of my lung instead...
  • I haven't really had any stupid cancer lines said to me..the only one I can think of was when I had my first bone marrow biopsy, I wasn't given any numbing cream or pain meds & didn't get put to sleep or knocked unconscious by anesthesia...before the procedure the nurse told me "don't worry its just going to feel like a wasp sting!"....well I don't know what wasp has ever stung that women but it was definitely pretty painful
  • ambreenambreen Community Member
    LouieDogg85;4417 said:
    I haven't really had any stupid cancer lines said to me..the only one I can think of was when I had my first bone marrow biopsy, I wasn't given any numbing cream or pain meds & didn't get put to sleep or knocked unconscious by anesthesia...before the procedure the nurse told me "don't worry its just going to feel like a wasp sting!"....well I don't know what wasp has ever stung that women but it was definitely pretty painful
    hahaha you're post reminded me of my first bone marrow biopsy! I'm surprised they didn't numb it first though, for you. I know they aren't supposed to give you anesthesia because they need you to be able to feel it so they don't cause any nerve damage. But they usually do numb it a bit. Anyway, I hate bone marrow biopsies and never want another one again! For my second bone marrow biopsy, I knew what to expect. So the doctor told me to say pain if I felt any pain. So the entire time I was just anticipating the pain. At one point, I yelled out "pain!" before he even stuck the needle in! haha
  • melshoemelshoe Community Member
    It's not really a cancer line but by far the worst thing said to me was when a pharmacist at Walgreens called me "sir". I didn't wear a wig I just wore hats and scarfs. With chemo during the summer the last thing I wanted was to wear a hot wig. I didn't think my baldness made me look like a man though! I was self-concious enough as it was the "can I help you sir" line did NOT help.
  • LouieDogg85;4417 said:
    I haven't really had any stupid cancer lines said to me..the only one I can think of was when I had my first bone marrow biopsy, I wasn't given any numbing cream or pain meds & didn't get put to sleep or knocked unconscious by anesthesia...before the procedure the nurse told me "don't worry its just going to feel like a wasp sting!"....well I don't know what wasp has ever stung that women but it was definitely pretty painful

    hahaha! I totally know what you mean! umm it was the most PAINFUL experience of my life, besides them trying to stick a breathing tube down my throat as I was wide awake and coughing and couldn't breathe before my chest biopsy. I was screaming in agony from the bone marrow biopsy and people heard me all down the hall and nurses came in to make sure I wasn't dying lol. They gave me 10 mg of morhpine and I still felt the horrendous pain. Wouldn't hurt? uhh what planet do they live on?
  • ambreen;4419 said:
    hahaha you're post reminded me of my first bone marrow biopsy! I'm surprised they didn't numb it first though, for you. I know they aren't supposed to give you anesthesia because they need you to be able to feel it so they don't cause any nerve damage. But they usually do numb it a bit. Anyway, I hate bone marrow biopsies and never want another one again! For my second bone marrow biopsy, I knew what to expect. So the doctor told me to say pain if I felt any pain. So the entire time I was just anticipating the pain. At one point, I yelled out "pain!" before he even stuck the needle in! haha

    wow are you serious, you don't get put to sleep or knocked unconscious by anesthesia for bone marrow biopsy's? I've been knocked out for every single one except for the very first one cause that one was at a different hospital after i was in the ICU for overdosing on alcohol & they didn't know my medical history...I get knocked out by the Micheal Jackson juice for every biopsy, it's great you get a nice feeling for 10 secs before you go unconscious and then you wake up 1 hour later and your just a tad sore
  • LouieDogg85;4431 said:
    wow are you serious, you don't get put to sleep or knocked unconscious by anesthesia for bone marrow biopsy's? I've been knocked out for every single one except for the very first one cause that one was at a different hospital after i was in the ICU for overdosing on alcohol & they didn't know my medical history...I get knocked out by the Micheal Jackson juice for every biopsy, it's great you get a nice feeling for 10 secs before you go unconscious and then you wake up 1 hour later and your just a tad sore

    Really? They knocked me out once but that was at a different hospital. I switched to a different hospital for treatment and there they normally don't knock you out. I asked once but they said they usually don't because they won't know if they hit a nerve and if they keep going it could cause nerve damage. They still numbed me up so it didn't really hurt but I was conscious and could feel everything. I guess it depends on the hospital and what protocol they follow.
  • ambreen;4436 said:
    Really? They knocked me out once but that was at a different hospital. I switched to a different hospital for treatment and there they normally don't knock you out. I asked once but they said they usually don't because they won't know if they hit a nerve and if they keep going it could cause nerve damage. They still numbed me up so it didn't really hurt but I was conscious and could feel everything. I guess it depends on the hospital and what protocol they follow.

    Oh wow that definitely sucks that they don't knock you out for the biopsy....That first one I had that they didn't do anything for me was pretty painful so I can't imagine what it must be like for you to have all your biopsy's without anesthesia...I'm also still in the peds clinic even though I'm 26, they haven't kicked me out yet & I really like my oncologist so I won't leave until they say I can't go to that clinic anymore...When I first got diagnosed I was 19 & I got in this free trial for a chemo drug but it was in the peds part of the hospital and I've been there ever since...How many biopsy's do you have a year?...I have 4 every year and it would really suck to not be knocked out for them...I've already had 2 since July 5th and I have another one tomorrow because the first 2 have come back positive and they want to do further testing
  • ambreen;4436 said:
    Really? They knocked me out once but that was at a different hospital. I switched to a different hospital for treatment and there they normally don't knock you out. I asked once but they said they usually don't because they won't know if they hit a nerve and if they keep going it could cause nerve damage. They still numbed me up so it didn't really hurt but I was conscious and could feel everything. I guess it depends on the hospital and what protocol they follow.

    Yeah, that's how I was down here. I was never knocked out for bone marrow aspirations/biopsies. They just put some lidocaine in the insertion area and went to work. It was always pretty painful since they had to push so hard to get into my bones. They just gave me something to squeeze. But you gotta do what you gotta do.
  • Well I only had three, the first was with anesthesia. As for the other two, they still sucked but I didn't think it was too bad. But then again I have a pretty high tolerance for pain so I'm not the best person to ask when it comes to pain haha. My last one came out negative and I got a clear pet scan in July so no more biopsies for me unless the cancer comes back, and hopefully it won't! I'm glad they do put you down though, four a year would probably be unbearable without anesthesia. And I know what you mean about not wanting to change doctors. After spending so much time with one oncologist, it would be hard to switch to a new one and get used to that doctor's way of doing things. Anyway, good luck on your biopsy tomorrow! Hope it goes well and isn't too sore afterwards :)
  • Titanium Texan;4442 said:
    Yeah, that's how I was down here. I was never knocked out for bone marrow aspirations/biopsies. They just put some lidocaine in the insertion area and went to work. It was always pretty painful since they had to push so hard to get into my bones. They just gave me something to squeeze. But you gotta do what you gotta do.

    Gosh I hate when they start pushing in to get the sample. That feeling of the needle jabbing on your bone is just horrible! I'm getting shivers just thinking about it.
  • I have a new one! Went in for my three month check up with the dermatologist and the nurse didn't look at my files before she took me back so the conversation went something like this:

    NURSE "so you're here for... ?"
    ME "Oh just my three month check up"
    NURSE "right, for acne"
    ME "No, actually melanoma and they keep finding atypical moles"
    NURSE "Oh my god, I'm SO sorry"
    ME "it's okay"

    Hahaha, I actually found it kind of funny, I've never really had an acne problem so I'm assuming she just said that because I'm young... I was the only non-wrinkly person in the waiting room that day! Had one more spot removed on my shoulder to be checked too, what are the bets that that one turns out atypical too?
  • My favorite, "Well you know, I guess if you're going to get cancer, it's good you got breast cancer since they know so much about it."
  • I'm with you on that one!! I think someone already mentioned this but I find it somewhat amusing that we all have SUCH different stages/types of cancers and we were all told that "it's good" or "lucky" or "at least you got" the one that we have. Really guys? REALLY? I'm pretty sure none of us have *enjoyed* this experience. Learned from it, sure. Made stronger by it, of course. But we've also been brought to our knees and had moments where we fealt the treatment was worse than the disease itself. I see no luck or goodness in cancer. The goodness comes because we're badasses and we get to a point where we decide that we WILL take something good away from this horrible experience.

    Some of my favorite stupid lines: "Oh, but it's thyroid cancer! They can cure that one, right?" No. There is no cure for cancer. I can go into remission for a really, really, long time, like hopefully until I die when I'm old, but I have to have scans and tests forever to see if it's back or growing.

    "You have to have radiation?? I thought they could get it all with surgery..." Again, nope. This is cancer, not a bad appendix. A little slicing won't just make it go away. Even people who DO only get surgery, they still have to be monitored for the cancer, it's just usually nothing else works for their type of cancer but surgery, so they end up with lots of surgeries.

    Most thyroid cancer scars become invisible after a while, but mine created too much scar tissue, so it's pretty visible and probably always will be. I've learned to be okay with that. It runs from the right side of my neck up to my left ear. People who I have NEVER SPOKEN TO EVER IN MY LIFE come up to me and give me tips and ideas for things to rub on it to make it less visible. Who does that? That's such rude behavior! Or my favorite is when friends and family see me for the first time since this ordeal and come out with "oh your scar isn't that visible at all! It looks just like a necklace!" 1. If it's not so visible, why are we *talking* about it? 2. I would never wear a necklace that looks like a scar. That'd be a damn ugly necklace. They don't sell those at claire's or JCPenny.
  • Mishanne;4453 said:
    I have a new one! Went in for my three month check up with the dermatologist and the nurse didn't look at my files before she took me back so the conversation went something like this:

    NURSE "so you're here for... ?"
    ME "Oh just my three month check up"
    NURSE "right, for acne"
    ME "No, actually melanoma and they keep finding atypical moles"
    NURSE "Oh my god, I'm SO sorry"
    ME "it's okay"

    Hahaha, I actually found it kind of funny, I've never really had an acne problem so I'm assuming she just said that because I'm young... I was the only non-wrinkly person in the waiting room that day! Had one more spot removed on my shoulder to be checked too, what are the bets that that one turns out atypical too?

    I would probably find that funny, too... but still stupid.

    I tend to be the star patient (aka the weird one who gets everything rare) at all of my specialites so most of the staff knows me. I even went to drop off something for one of my doctors and his secretary (whom I had never met) was like "Oh, you're Colleen! I've wanted to meet you!" LOL. So luckily, I tend to know most of the nurses and we usually have normal conversations. But people always get things wrong when they are a new nurse/resident/ER doc etc. because I rarely have normal symptoms. I usaully find this hilarious as well, because they get so confused.

    And for thyroid cancer: "At least you didn't have to have chemo!!!" I would have honestly rather have had chemo than all of the side effects I get from going on and off thyroid hormones. And I've had chemo. Just not for that.
  • When I went in for my biopsy (before they even had a clue what it was) the nurses ask me, so if it's cancer are you going to freeze your eggs so you can have children later. I didn't even know what to say, they were even't sure it was cancerous.

    I love the look on people faces when they ask me what happened to my leg and I tell them I had a tumor removed then 100% of the time they say "well everything was okay right" then I tell them it's cancer and most people have never seen anyone with cancer (sarcoma) in their leg.

    I was in PT one day and this elderly lady told me that she used me as an example to one of her friends that was going to have a knee replacement (that's what she thought i had) since I was so young and healed quickly. If only it was a knee replacement.