Howdy, Stranger!

It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!

Sign In with Google

Ask a Question

Best Worst Cancer Lines

12357

Comments

  • My TOP FIVE lines from my wife's brain cancer hell:

    I love this thread. People say the craziest stuff. I shudder to think what idiocy came out of my un-educated/inexperienced mouth before my wife was diagnosed with brain cancer.

    Still, I would know better then to do any of the following, some of which STILL happen on a regular basis:

    1. "How are you feeeeeling?" -- Must be said with dramatic, overly-concerned face, typically at social gatherings. And in a voice which harkens back to being comforted by a 2nd grade teacher. If you have cancer, you apperantly can't handle adult conversation anymore.

    2. "You NEED to do gamma knife radiation." -- Must be said by someone who has never had cancer and has no medical experience whatsoever.

    3. "Don't listen to your doctor. I'm going to send you a book I heard about. It tells you how to cure cancer. You'll thank me later." -- Usually said during chemo/radiation. Again, by someone with no medical experience.

    4. "You need to try Monavie. It cures cancer. I'll sell you some." -- Genius neighbor

    5. "You should just shave all of your hair off. You'd look so pretty bald. Just go for it!" -- Said by more than a couple people. You can tell with someone's tone and expression when they're b.s.'ing you. Having a wife with cancer makes you a great b.s. detector.

    6. Honorable mention to the Silent Treatment, from people who don't know what to say (I understand) and find it easier to not include you in some events/gatherings (I don't understand).

    THANK YOU for giving me a place to vent. That felt GOOOOOD!!! (Said with serious face, not overly sympathetic b.s. face.)

    ps: I have to hear this stuff, but my wife is the one with cancer. It's bad for me, but I can only imagine how it makes her feel deep down inside.
  • RicoTubbs;6234 said:
    6. Honorable mention to the Silent Treatment
    I like when people tell you "if there's anything I can do for you just let me know" and then follow it up with the "Silent Treatment"! Oh so helpful...
  • Mishanne;6239 said:
    I like when people tell you "if there's anything I can do for you just let me know" and then follow it up with the "Silent Treatment"! Oh so helpful...

    This I find extremely frustrating. All I wanted was for someone to be around, keep me company, help make life feel normal. But its pretty awkward to try and say that to people who wanted to help. I think a better approach would have been "hey, i'd like to help you. Would you mind that?" "No" "great, I'll stop by Tuesday and we'll hang out, I'll make you something to eat and we'll go from there." My whole experience was very lonely. ... :(
  • Someone once told me that they were afraid I wouldn't be able to have kids because of my thyroid cancer. Upon further questioning I realized that they thought the thyroid was located in one's vagina, ROFLMAO. (Although, I have personally decided NOT to have kids as a result of the cancer....I don't want to pass on Hashimotos to my daughter. I've always wanted to adopt anyways :) )
  • RicoTubbs;6234 said:
    1. "How are you feeeeeling?" -- Must be said with dramatic, overly-concerned face, typically at social gatherings. And in a voice which harkens back to being comforted by a 2nd grade teacher. If you have cancer, you apperantly can't handle adult conversation anymore.

    LOVE this one! Put your growup pants on for pete's sake and come at me like an adult.
  • RicoTubbs;6234 said:
    1. "How are you feeeeeling?" -- Must be said with dramatic, overly-concerned face, typically at social gatherings. And in a voice which harkens back to being comforted by a 2nd grade teacher. If you have cancer, you apperantly can't handle adult conversation anymore.

    I hate when people use that line with that tone of voice. The one time it happened to me was at a Canada Day celebration last year. Yeah, I was there with my parents, but I'm an adult, treat me like that. Plus I wasn't feeling very cheery at that point and managed a clipped, "I'm fine." It was the woman's tone that really annoyed me.
  • jadefujadefu Community Member
    LynchSister;6307 said:
    LOVE this one! Put your growup pants on for pete's sake and come at me like an adult.
    Or also related: when someone talks to you like you're 5 and says "Oh, I know the c-word is really scary." (I got this a LOT)

    C-word? Really? It's f'ing cancer. I can say it, why can't you?
  • @ Fufuberry:

    Your thyroid is in your vagina?!!? Yes, that totally explains why you had the neck surgery. Some people, oh my God. sigh.

    Also, I found a great line to respond to "the C word" people - especially people around our age. I just say "Dude, cancer is like voldemort. Scary, hidden, and coming to get you whether you say his name or not. So just call him Voldemort." People usually take that pretty well, they often are scared for some reason that I will be upset if they say the word "cancer" and once I bring in Harry Potter it makes the whole situation a lot lighter.
  • NikolzNikolz Community Member
    I have a speech impedement from have a partial glosectomy (removal of half my oral tounge) Two incidents really stick out in my memory in the last twho years.
    1. I work in public and a client (who also happened to be a nurse) drew attention to it, when most people ignore it, and called it cute. 2. I also once had an employee who had never heard me speak before cancer (BC). He had called me and got my voicemail greeting which i had recorded BC. He told me it was odd to hear becuase I "sounded normal"
    Those are tough days
  • I had surgery and am in a "watch and wait" mode right now...with 2 of my 3 doctors anticipating radiation and likely chemo in my future, could be next month, could be 5 years, who knows. But since I rarely share that fact with people who aren't my closest friends I get a lot of "well at least it wasn't cancer!" (because chemo/radiation defines cancer obviously), I also get people telling me it's great that it was benign (it wasn't, I just had a thorough surgeon), and also most people tell me I'm so lucky I didn't have to do chemo/radiation because that would be hell which just gets me super excited for when I'll probably have to go through that anyways (but I don't tell them that)...and like a 7 hour long brain surgery wasn't hellish enough.
  • Tuflehundon;6427 said:
    My Wife's Dr gave her the "but it's the good kind of cancer to get" line when she was diagnosed. He even called it the "Hollywood Cancer", whatever the hell that means.

    I think they do that as a coaping mechanism for when you are 1st diagnosed and are scared a hell. In her instance, I think it may have helped. Maybe just a little, but a little is better than nothing. It's a scary thing to hear at any age.

    They said the same thing to my Dad when he was diagnosed at 41, and then again at 55. And his was not "the good kind".


    ahh yes, my surgeon also did tell me my tumor was in the "best" part of the brain. I'll be honest, i'm glad because he could get it out, but really the "best" place for a tumor IMO is no where near me or my brain!
  • I was in the waiting room for radiation yesterday and this older lady who also had cancer was asking what kind mine was. I pulled down my shirt collar to show her my scar and said I had thyroid cancer. I got into the habit of showing my scar when I tell people after I encountered the lady who thought my thyroid was in my vagina. LOL

    Anyways, this lady immediately asked if I smoked. I said that no, I've never smoked, and she proceeded to ask what caused mine then. The implication was kind of "what did you do?" Because I mean... I OBVIOUSLY did something in order to get cancer. WTF? Who really KNOWS what causes most cancers??? The only thing KNOWN to cause thyroid cancer is radiation exposure and I'm pretty sure I didn't grow up in Chernobyl or anything...I mean the autoimmune disease didn't help...but still...wtf?

    I wanted to be like what caused your gallbladder to start growing tumors? You look sideways at a moose or something? Because that would have been equally ridiculous.
  • Fufuberry;6679 said:

    Anyways, this lady immediately asked if I smoked. I said that no, I've never smoked, and she proceeded to ask what caused mine then. The implication was kind of "what did you do?" Because I mean... I OBVIOUSLY did something in order to get cancer. WTF? Who really KNOWS what causes most cancers??? The only thing KNOWN to cause thyroid cancer is radiation exposure and I'm pretty sure I didn't grow up in Chernobyl or anything...I mean the autoimmune disease didn't help...but still...wtf?

    I wanted to be like what caused your gallbladder to start growing tumors? You look sideways at a moose or something? Because that would have been equally ridiculous.
    OMG. THIS. Often the first thing that people say when I tell them I have cancer is some version of "why?" as in, did you smoke, or did you have a family history, or did you ever get a lot of radiation. Not defending them, but I think that particularly when a young person gets cancer people want a REASON so that they can say to themselves, "well she did X, so if I don't then this can't happen to me." People don't want to think that they could be you.

    The fun part about this is that I've never smoked and I'm a vegetarian marathon runner. I think that freaks people out more - my favorite was this sort of desperate "were you EVER overweight?" Because you know, if a vegetarian nonsmoking marathon runner gets cancer, you still have to justify it somehow so it must be that she USED to be fat. Also, because fat causes cancer? aaahhh.

    Sigh. People.
  • I was told by my best friend that she couldn't be my friend any more because I had cancer and she didn't know how to deal with it :(
  • billjrbilljr Community Member
    After two and half years of chemotherapy, seven rounds of whole body radiation and Bone Marrow transplant, (I no longer produce sperm), at 52 years of age and broke, My lawyer friend said I should get Married and have some children!! WTF?
  • billjr;7059 said:
    After two and half years of chemotherapy, seven rounds of whole body radiation and Bone Marrow transplant, (I no longer produce sperm), at 52 years of age and broke, My lawyer friend said I should get Married and have some children!! WTF?

    My family continually badgers me about when my wife and I are going to have kids. We don't even know if I'm fertile! My oncologist told me to wait a few years before I get tested, so my testes have a chance to recover. Trying to finish my degree before dealing with that, but it never fails to irritate the pi$$ out of me when someone asks when we're going to have kids.
  • billjrbilljr Community Member
    The general population in my opinion, simply do not understand that all is not well once treatment ends, and the cancer is in remission. Lifetime of side effects are common, but no one wants to deal with that aspect of treatment. Including many of the Doctors!
    On another website a nurse was quoted as saying a BMT was nothing more than a blood transfusion. Really? This person is involved with patient care?
  • Wig

    "Whats up with the wig?" um cancer. thats whats up
  • I'm guessing the person did know you have (had?) cancer right?
  • I think the one that comes to mind the most after about a couple weeks of telling someone I had Leukemia was "When are you going to give that story up?" I am sorry that I am not crying everyday and handling the fact that I have it very well. Haha
  • That's terrible Matt! How horrible of them to think that you're just trying to get some attention.
  • people always seemed to ask me how i did it.... i never could answer that question.... anyone else have the same thing happen to them?
  • The first time it really got to me was when I was at a bbq and people kept telling me "Good luck" and that they would pray for me. I just kept thinking "I don't want people to have to wish me good luck. I don't want people to have to keep me in their prays"

    I know they're trying to be nice but I don't know how to respond.
  • #2: I'm talking to my buddy, my former roommate. He and I were really, really close. We're making plans to get together. I have surgery next Thursday. He says, "How about next Thursday? Oh right... that's the day you get filleted."

    #1: My dad said to me, in a creepy voice, "blah blah blah... that's because, in chemo, they bring you near THE POINT OF DEATH!!!"

    Yeah. Thanks.
  • Carey;1228 said:
    Worst line was when I told someone I had Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma "Isn't that the good one?"

    Best line came from my Dad, Brother, and cousin. "You're the bravest person I know." My cousin and Dad are combat veterans and my brother is active duty in the Marines.

    Hhhhh... I volunteered for the Corps 3 years ago. When my recruiter asked me if I had any recent surgeries, I had to say yes. No fighter jets for Jim!

    That's quite an honor coming from vets dude! Way to go!
  • kolditokoldito Community Member
    In my pre-cancer life, I was a semi-decent long distance runner, so my resting heart rate was pretty low ---around 45 beats per minute, whereas an average person my age typically has 60-70 bpm. The surgical team that resected my tumor was aware of this, but apparently nobody bothered to inform the ICU nurses. When a new shift of nurses walked into the ICU, they would read my heart rate monitor, and invariably their jaws would drop, blood would drain from their faces, and they would tell me, in a concerned voice: "your heart is beating really slowly!". When I explained that I ran between 6 and 9 miles every weekday and more on weekends, they would immediately recompose themselves and say "oh, well, then I guess it's nothing serious".
  • koldito;7932 said:
    In my pre-cancer life, I was a semi-decent long distance runner, so my resting heart rate was pretty low ---around 45 beats per minute, whereas an average person my age typically has 60-70 bpm. The surgical team that resected my tumor was aware of this, but apparently nobody bothered to inform the ICU nurses. When a new shift of nurses walked into the ICU, they would read my heart rate monitor, and invariably their jaws would drop, blood would drain from their faces, and they would tell me, in a concerned voice: "your heart is beating really slowly!". When I explained that I ran between 6 and 9 miles every weekday and more on weekends, they would immediately recompose themselves and say "oh, well, then I guess it's nothing serious".
    I was not quite as active, but still had a lower-than-normal HR and BP. panicked a few nurses when my HR would occasionally read in the low 50's. they also did not understand why I did not get concerned with a 150bpm heart rate. I regularly noted mine close to 200 during strenuous exercise (like a long, steep climb on my mountain bike).
  • CarnochCarnoch Community Member
    I just had to join and say the worse and most objectionable phrase I've ever heard is "Stupid Cancer." It should be banned. Cancer is a lot of things to many people, but that phrase make me cringe big time, I hate it! :mad:
  • "At least you get NEW perky boobs!!" What I say, "I'm just glad I got my pole dancing and Mardi Gras trip outta the way first." What
    I always think...goggle some pics! They aren't pretty. Makes me angry. I'd like to have MY nipples and areolas back. Thank you very much. I HAD spectacular boobs already...lol Cancer free for 7 months...getting my implants put in May 7, 2013. Hoping I look less like a freak. It drives my crazy having to see the "normal" naked breasts on ALL shows these days. :(
  • ciorancioran Community Member
    Yesterday guy said via text "NBD, Cancer's like the flu now" and later after I mentioned politely it's not and I've lost 30lbs in the last month, "Skinny is sexy". English isn't his first language and he's from a 3rd world country (he kind of thinks western medicine is magical) or I'd punch him through the phone.