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Best Worst Cancer Lines



  • I hate after telling someone, they response omg are you sure did you recheck????

    Also, you're young you'll get through it. Everyone just assumes when you just find out its assumed its at an early stage and you'll be fine,,, Wrong, what you should be asking is what stage is it, what exactly did they find. Its nothing any young person would imagine to have, especially when your at a young age you would never think to check at an early stage neither would any doctor.

  • "Chemo brain? C'mon Is that really a thing?"
  • I remember one of the first conversations I had with my dad after getting diagnosed. He made sure to tell me that it was a good thing I wasn't vain so losing my hair wasn't going to be a big deal.
  • LizabeeLizabee Community Member
    Thanks for the funny thread!
    My strangest moment was just after leaving the hospital, with a pretty suppressed immune system...I walked into a Walgreens pharmacy to fill a prescription and the guy at the front checkout area called over the loudspeaker for assistance since I was wearing a hospital mask that covered my nose and mouth. He must have overlooked the PICC line, since he seemed to think that I was there to rob him!
  • Katelyn PigoniKatelyn Pigoni Community Member
    edited May 2015 Vote Up0Vote Down
    My cat died from mouth cancer about two years before I was diagnosed. One of the first things my dad asked my oncologist was "do you think she got it from the cat?"
  • xoldcorexxoldcorex Community Member
    I went to the emergency room late one night with a high fever while I was on chemo.  As the nurse was helping me settle I mentioned that I'm vegan.  The first thing out of her mouth was "Well that didn't help?"  
  • When people say:

    You must have looked so pretty bald.

    I just stare at them then I snap out of the stupid comment.
  • gogo718gogo718 Community Member
    i have heard a lot of these too. people are ridiculous.
    mine are:

    --multiple doctors telling me throughout the surgical process and months-long recovery "but you're so young and healthy". yes i acknowledge i am young and may not have many other preexisting conditions however i have a very rare kind of cancer with a low survival rate, and had one of the most invasive surgeries that exists, and chemotherapy, and ostomy surgery and later reversal, to the extent that maybe its safe to admit i'm NOT actually that healthy.

    --my boyfriend at the time's refusal to admit i had cancer, which is understandable in a sense, but still made me feel crazy...after multiple scans and two biopsies confirmed it, he still said, "but you're fine right?". no fucker i've been telling you as long as i know you that i'm sick, here is the "proof", and you still don't believe me.

    --after i lost thirty pounds after surgery and was so weak i couldnt carry my own groceries or laundry, a few people told me how good i looked. actually people commenting on my weight in general, up and down, telling me how good i look compared to what i used to look like, or acting shocked that i dont look like im on my deathbed, in their opinion.

    --people on the whole "cancer can be cured with positivity" and the logical conclusion then that if you're sick its because youre somehow too bleak or something. actually i have to be super positive to function at all, and its not my fault im sick even when im depressed.

    --people implying that the cause of my fatigue is lack of inertia and that if i just got up and did something i would inevitably feel better.

    --and the classic "how are you feeling?" in inappropriate settings by people who dont actually want to know and couldnt really handle it either way. i get this a lot from strangers when it somehow comes out that im sick. im feeling: like i dont want to talk about this thing right now and that i wish being sick didnt come up all the time but it does. and/or, people i dont know wanting to hear the outline of my future treatment plans. wtf
  • KBishKBish Community Member
    I had a youth pastor visit me and say " My friend was the same age as you are and was diagnosed with Leukemia unfortunately he didn't survive. I know you will though" 

    What do you say to that? Gee thanks....

    I was also going into surgery to have a  port put in and I have never had surgery and they hadn't told me what was going on. The nurse woke me up at 6 AM and started to wheel me off and I freaked out and started crying because I couldn't find my mom and the nurse told me "Whats the big deal its just a port and your 20 years old you don't need your mom"
  • SlattsSlatts Community Member
    edited October 2015 Vote Up0Vote Down
    Did any celebs or athletes visit you in the hospital? I had a cousin who was in for a few days and the Knicks came in and...


    BUT!!! I will say this! about 3 months after my surgery I'm with my Dad driving back to hospital for some follow up tests and driving through NYC 1 block from the hospital...we're about to make a right turn onto the next street and I see who looks like Tony Hawk... he was crossing the street, my dad then makes his right turn and I yell "TONY!!!" no time for me to get a response or tell if it's him.
    I then get to the hospital, meet with my Dr and we're small talking and they say, "Oh, you skateboard? You wouldn't believe who was just up here visiting the kid patients...TONY HAWK!"
    What a great guy, wish I could've met him that day.
  • Okay my favorite lines are:

    My friend looked at me and said we should name it Phillip. In regards to a giant tumor on my chest wall. I told them how rude and made them come up with a list of names from swear words in foreign languages. 

    When I walked across my college campus during a blood drive and this person almost harassed me to give blood and I had to look him in the eyes and say "I have cancer" and just walked off with his mouth on the floor

    Every time I'm in public talking about appointments I refer to every time a needle entered my body as a "stabbing" and I always freak people out. For example, one time when I visited my Mom we were walking in a grocery store and I said Mom the other day in Houston I only got stabbed twice! The look on people's faces made me laugh harder than I should have. 

    Lastly, when talking about my love life people ask if I'm single or seeing anyone and I respond with no but the other day I was topless in front of a group of people and let them touch my boobs for fun in regards to my latest check up at MD Anderson. 

    Definetly take advantage of messing with people because it can makes things a lot more fun. 
  • When my friend was diagnosed, her brother told her that thank god that we are having insurance!

  • it was raining out and i walked from the car into the grocery store and some lady with wet hair turned to me and said "youre so lucky you dont have hair"
  • I was diagnosed when I was 2 months pregnant with my first baby.
    Do you think the baby will be born with cancer?

    I use a lot a whitening cream or cream pemutih wajah in my country like cream hn. I just worried as well since my doctor said there is possible matter.

  • Father in law (a well educated man w/ his masters): can you give me cancer? Is it contagious? (my mother in law hits him in the arm)

    If you're going to get cancer, this is the type to get. This is the good cancer. (Wtf?)

    After I told them I had breast cancer they wanted to know what stage it was. As if they were judging how serious my cancer was. It felt intrusive.

  • I can't count how many times I've been told that I'm lucky because I've survived for ten years with a brain tumor and it just converted to high grade now. I know people mean well, but if I was lucky, I wouldn't have a brain tumor in the first place, right?
  • I get the "At least you don't have to shave anymore! Cancer perk!" It makes me smile, and then I think to myself I'd much rather suffer from shaving than suffer from going through chemo and having cancer!
  • Holy cow. Don't people learn basic manners anymore? "I'm so sorry this is happening to you." And if you know them well enough, "Is there anything I can do?" And I'm guessing most folks would rather hear someone offer to run errands or babysit the kids than be told what a great "inspiration" they are and then disappear for months.
  • Some idiot once told me that dormant tumors were just as devastating as malignant tumors
  • So I had cancer on my knee area and so I have a huge almost bite looking scar there. One time this little kid asked me if a shark bit off my knee... Yeah, I know they were little and the mom was really upset with the kid after she said that!
  • Some person also said to me "So when does your leg heal?" It was literally an instant face palm. They don't realize that when you have a cancer scar that it doesn't heal. Mine won't heal at all unless I get plastic surgery which I don't feel is necessary.
  • I have a four month old daughter and very recently went bald from the Chemo. When I am out in public with the baby I keep getting "You two have the same haircut."
    -we sure do :)
  • bls0807bls0807 Community Member
    After telling a friend (who just had her first baby) I was really upset because I had just found out chemo would make me infertile & recent testing showed I would be unresponsive to chemo alone, she said "omg!!! That's working mom stress level!" ....really?!?!
  • Megan79Megan79 Community Member
    So my BEST FRIENDS, yep 2 of them... I found out about cancer while going through a 3 year divorce and child custody battle in the litigious state of CA, LA specifically... they got through the surgeries with me... the chemo though, their response was, "Megan, I hope you understand we cannot watch you die!"... Thanks! Thank for the encouragement! Wow!!! My parents were in denial telling everyone my stage 4 cancer was "no big deal" and I was "strong enough to beat it"... more like pissed off enough... went to my appointments alone... the worst line I got was from my brother when I called to tell him about my tumor starting to shutdown where it brother, said "What? No! You were supposed to die so I could inherit everything! You suck!!!" Yeah! Funny thing is he chews, smokes a few packs a day and eats crap without exercising...
  • Top 2 bits of crazy come from not so distant family:

    #1. From the born-again-Christian aunt during during Xmas while I was still in treatment "This is God's way of testing your mother's faith!"
    WTF?! who says that?...I just nodded and walked away counting to ten in my head.

    #2. From my idiot brother in law after he saw me without my wig for the first time "OMG I didn't know you were actually sick!"
    Cause no I was faking this whole time?
  • ValVal Community Member
    My teacher: "I know what you're going through." Yeah, right..
  • My doctor: "You're young you shouldn't get the same side effects" *gets the same side effects* "You're young you'll bounce back"
  • CMLRugbyCMLRugby Community Member
    "Wow, you've lost so much weight. You're looking really good."- Rude Aunt.
    Ummm, ok... I know you are aware that I have been undergoing chemotherapy and radiation for awhile now... losing a stone and a half (20 lb, 13 kg) isn't good, especially when I was of a healthy weight before treatments... So excuse me if I don't say thank you...
  • MelomaMeloma Community Member
    One of my close friends said "Well if you did die, by the time it happened they would be able to upload your conscience to the cloud!"