I wasn't sure where to put this thread, but I just really need to get it out. And if there are any words of comfort or advice, that'd be really appreciated. Sorry it's a tad long....
I have a friend who I met when we were both 17. We became instant best friends. This was a big deal for a girl like me. I've always been heavier and felt like guys didn't even want to be my friend, forget about dating any!. But through the years, we stayed BEST friends. It was good. We went to separate colleges, and he even went to Japan for two years. During all this time we stayed in very close contact. We wrote letters all the time while he was in Japan (he didn't have a phone or internet there) and we drove across states to visit each other in college all the time. Our Junior year in college, I went on a choir tour that was only about 45 minutes from his university, so we got together to hang out just for a bit--because that's all the time I had. He told me he had to talk to me when I came down, and it sounded serious, so I made sure I had time for him. We ended up finding a quiet park to go to to talk. He preceded the conversation by asking me if I'd always be there for him, no matter what, for eternity, and if I really did love him (as a friend of course.) I didn't even have to think for a split second, the answer was yes!! We'd been through hard times before (like when my sister died a few years earlier) and there was nothing to change that. He then came out to me. I was the first person he told that he was gay. No one else knew (except an old friend from high school who had also come out and it was kind of an accident....). This was extremely difficult for him. With many personal things about it all, I only barely grasped how hard and lifelong this would be for him. But I stuck by what I said. I'd always be there for him. And I have been!! That was 4 years ago. Still best friends. I was the same person as always, as was he. The only difference was we'd both check out guys and talk about how different our tastes were. He still hasn't been very open with his feelings. None of his siblings know yet (although I'm sure they suspect) and eventually he did tell his parents. Some of our closest friends from high school (the same group we always hung out with high school through college) still don't know.
Here's the problem. September of last year, I was diagnosed with cancer. We were now living even MORE states apart from each other, he in Texas, me in Washington. When I had the energy, we'd talk, we'd even skype and stuff. Then it became less and less.... My cancer wasn't getting any better, in fact nothing was working and the doctors were worried. Then four days before my birthday in January, he sent me what appears to be his last text. I haven't heard from him since January!!! I've been through MAJOR surgery and all the other crap cancer brings, and he isn't talking to me. Not one bit of communication since January... no calls, texts, facebook posts, nothing! What the hell! I told him 4 years ago I'd always be there for him because I loved him and knew he'd had a lifelong struggle, and he can't handle me having cancer!? I don't get it! What a friggin douche. I just want him to call and explain himself.
Ok, I'm crying and I'm done. If you stuck with this through the end, thanks!
How do YOU deal with people you love leaving you during your hard times?