about to give up

im 18 from wisconsin. yes "im young" but im about to give up on relationships all together. im beging to think that im ment to be alone for the rest of my life. everyone keeps telling me i will find someone in time but i dont think so. i dont live in a big enough town to see strangers in the street. everyone knows everyone else. idk maybe im lame for even posting this :(


  • 12 Comments sorted by Votes Date Added
  • Nahh, you're not lame for posting that. Everyone has these feelings at some point. I'm sure some others can help you better than myself on this topic, but I suggest just keep pushing through. You'll find the right person when it's meant to be.
  • I second what Jason said, don't give up, who knows where you'll be later in life and who you'll meet! You could always take a break from worrying about relationships for awhile though and just work on finding things you enjoy to do- perhaps someone will sneak up on you when you least expect it? I am quite the optimist normally when it comes to relationships, cancer has certainly put a damper on that a lot, but I'm single now and I still think so long as I make it through everything eventually some nice guy is bound to show up :) Well that's how I think on a good day, on a bad day I'm usually convinced no guy will ever want me because of my diagnosis and I know from experience there are guys like that out there but they're not the ones I'd want to be with anyway!
  • summooresummoore Community Member
    Take a break for a little while. I'm speaking from personal and sometimes painful experience that when you are looking too hard, you're usually looking at the wrong person. There's a big, wide world out there. :)
  • CareyCarey Community Member
    Like you said you're young. Most people these days don't get married until they're in their late 20's or 30's. That's over a decade from now. There's a lot of people to me met out there, even if they're not in your town. I don't know if you're in college or going to college, but if you do it becomes a whole new world of people to meet and things to do. Out of a population of 300 million, there has to be at least 3 people out there. The odds are for it.
  • i don't come from a small town and I went to the second largest university in the nation.. and still nothing. hahaha seriously can we talk about how much of a joke my life is?? lol ok let me switch back to my optimistic side ;) I loved what summore said.. "when you're looking, you're usually looking for the wrong person" I'd rather be alone and happy than in a relationship that I'm miserable in (hence why my last relationship failed). Especially with our medical problems we can't afford all that extra stress. And look at it this way... we have our whole lives to settle down and be married. I for one believe marriage is something for the long hall.. til death do us part.. and all that jazz, so why rush it? if I get married at 30 that means I may live 70 years being married. crazy when you put it into numbers no? I guess my point is, enjoy the single life too because without sometime alone you never get to discover who YOU really are without someone else's influence and what you really love. And hey there's some single perks too. All my cancer treatments are done and I'm just dealing with the aftermath of sucky side effects and such .. so what am I doing?? Going to vegas!! at the end of august to visit my friend.. woo! lol probably wouldn't be doing that if I was dating someone ya know. And my other friend is in NYC for the summer with his brother so I'll prob be making a trip out there as well :) Basically, enjoy life (or at least try to on your good days haha) and love will find you :) I've heard that you need to find the things you love to do and your love will find you there. I feel like that's a logical idea :) keep your head up.. I think all of us single cancer survivors or fighters feel exactly like you more days than not.. you're not alone :)
  • I enjoy how towards the end of my post smiley faces exploded onto my paragraph hahaha sorry.. I woke up at 5am this morning and couldn't go back to sleep so I'm probbbbably a bit dilusional at the moment :) <<of course I had to end it on a smiley! haha
  • Smiley faces are good Julie :)
  • It will take the right person at the right time. Each person i date they either think too much of my disease or not not. Finding someone who can respect and appreciate what you went through is hard. I am still waiting for the right one but i have faith they will come around. I'm 24 so I'm still young too :)
  • As much as you may feel like it you can't give up all hope at 18, you just have to keep your head up and the right person will come along. If you try too hard to find that person, you never will. I didn't meet my fiancee until I was 26, and I wasn't even looking, we were just introduced by someone I knew less than a month. I know you live in a small town, but there's always that 6 degrees of separation thing. You might not even know the person who knows the person who knows your future someone. Don't feel lame for posting here, we're all here to help.
  • Mishanne;4073 said:
    Smiley faces are good Julie :)

    I wish there was a like button for that... lol
  • bpojb03bpojb03 Community Member
    Julie Cecys;4126 said:
    I wish there was a like button for that... lol

    hahaha ive thought the same thing for a few posts! but it is good. no like button means we acutally have to type something :)