did that doctor really just say that to me???

Alright... so on top of an extremely stressful day at work (I work with teens with special needs..) I've been having some issues keeping my endocrine levels stable even when my medication hasn't changed so we're looking into other reasons why my body is still freaking out post-thyroid cancer. Also, I'm going to other doctors to better my quality of life like a nutritionist and medical trainer because I seriously need to lose all this weight I gained. So anyways I met with this new nutritionist today and right after I told her my story.. that I had thyroid cancer.. my body sucks... etc. etc. ... I need to lose this weight.. she gave me the most pitiful face and began to say "omgosh it must have been so hard to deal with cancer at 22 let alone all your other struggles at that age.. was it really difficult??" Now she was probably just trying to be nice, but seriously lady??? You asking me that question is a sure fire way to make me start to tear up, not want to listen to you, and choose a different doctor. So anyways I THOUGHT I would be able to shut her up with just a yea it's really hard and we could move on to why I was in her office. BUT NOOOOO she continued to probe me until I was full on crying my eyes out and wanting to just run out of the room. I learned nothing about nutrition and what she did tell me made absolutely no sense and she didn't answer any of my questions clearly.

I guess my point is.. I love how we're supposed to be so strong, and a role model, and whatever, but when you tell someone for the first time that you've had cancer you don't get looked at in that way. You don't get a smile of admiration or of pride.. Nope. You're seen as a weak person, someone to be pitied. I'm so sick of it. How am I supposed to be proud and positive of the cancer journey I've been on when everyone else sees it so negatively?? SO over it.


  • 6 Comments sorted by Votes Date Added
  • bpojb03bpojb03 Community Member
    thank you for sharing. i know exactly what you mean! im no role model but im not to be pitied either.

    im trying to find a new alternative medicine team (nurtitionist included) but i havent figured out how to go over my medical history yet. i hope you find a nutritionist who doesnt try to be a psychologist (and make you upset).
  • Yeah, it definitely sucks when you get the pitying look/words from people- particularly doctors and nurses! One of my derm surgeons after hearing about my melanoma case and some of the details kept saying "you'll be okay" and patting my leg with the saddest pitying look I've seen yet- I felt like she was more trying to reassure herself than me which made me feel terrible because that meant she probably didn't think I'd be ok :( Also had one of the nurses pull up a picture of the scar left on my back and exclaim "Is that YOU?!" um, yes, thank you for making me feel better about my scar...
  • wow...there are some health care professionals that just don't get it. asking a question like that to a young adult cancer survivor is rhetorical and not helpful in any way. sorry for her ignorance.
  • I was just talking with a friend of mine who has Muscular Dystrophy and he was telling me how he can no longer play music (which was his passion), but he is writing a lot. I said, "Great, what are you writing about?" and he looked at me and said, "Thank you for not giving me a pity party about my music. That really pisses me off!" I told him I know what he is talking about because I have heard it too. It is such crap when people feel like they have to pat you and give you that sad face. Really not necessary!
  • Hilly Hill;4345 said:
    It is such crap when people feel like they have to pat you and give you that sad face. Really not necessary!

  • I have really been working out a lot (hired a trainer, did a 5k running program, mountain bike on a weekly basis, play soccer twice a week currently, yoga twice a week lately) and have been getting a lot of comments from people about how much better I look now as compared to a year ago. nobody on my soccer team is even aware that I kicked cancer's ass.

    I like the comments of disbelief I get now when people find out I'm a recent survivor. Because their disbelief is not based on pity about my age (those comments do piss me off). It's based on the fact that I am strong and healthy in my recovery and that I have been able to return to an athletic lifestyle and many people don't believe such a lifestyle is possible after a cancer diagnosis.