So sick of it...

Why is it that when people hear you have had cancer treatment they walk around you like 1800 century art? Like if they touch you you'll break. I had surgery 4 weeks ago to have a carcinoid tumor removed from my trancia and lung. Which in turn the took a part of each. Everyone thinks i'm so fragile and it's driving me crazy.:mad:

Comments

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  • I know what you mean... when I returned to school months after I had surgery my adviser offered to carry a couple text books down the hall for me, I just laughed though and said I was young and fit still and just fine to carry whatever!
  • summooresummoore Community Member
    I like the 17th century art analogy more than the "leper" analogy. It's just that no one really knows what to do, so in their own way they're trying to help. It's annoying, but don't do what I did and act like everything is fine. I pushed myself WAY too hard after surgery because I was tired of being treated like an invalid. My pride cost me several more months of recovery than was necessary. Hope you're doing well and hang in there. It gets better with time.
  • You just need to prove that you are a strong person and can help yourself. You don't want to close people off completely, but let them know that you are able to manage now. It's important to get back into the flow of things as easily as possible. Just don't overdo it like summoore said :)
  • Oh yeah... not overdoing it... good point- I guess I have a little problem with that, I'm always breaking my stitches :)
  • bpojb03bpojb03 Community Member
    i have the opposite problem. i have too many people too close to me right after treatments, procedures, or surgeries. i usually get attacked by people trying to tackle, hug, pick me up, and throw me around. its taken years for me to teach friends and family to not get too close right away. sucks too cuz sometimes i want a hug or something. i like rough housing too. i dont mind getting hurt but now that i cant heal its not really an option.

    so i have that other problem of pushing too hard and taking two steps back in recovery.

    im trying to think of why im not treated like im fragile so i can help you out but it might just be cuz im a sarcastic, funny, bitch :) if you excuse my francais. i guess i just dont let people, im argumentative about it. but it might just be because ive always been hyperactive and i dont usually let people see me sick. so yea like mishanne and rikkaroo said you have to prove it. find something you can do well and show everyone. or just tell them because they probably dont know they are doing that to you.
  • I don't usually get that with my family and friends. They are used to it. It took one of my friends awhile in general; I think I tend to freak her out. But once she figured out that I could (usually) still hold a conversation, she was fine. She is the most careful about my limitations and I think it's hilarious. Like once we were wakling and my shoe fell off because it got stuck in the mud. She offered to tie my shoe for me because she didn't know if I would be able to balance. LOL. I mean, she doesn't overdo it and she is coming from a sincere place, so I don't mind. I did have balance issues one year from allergies, so it wasn't out of nowhere.

    I am pretty good at pacing myself after multiple surgeries. I tend to know my limits. I have had bosses/school tell me not to, but I just say something to that extent.

    If people are being way too careful though, I like to get back at them. In sixth grade I had foot surgery and my teacher was obsessive about pushing my wheelchair (I had surgery and then casts on both feet so I couldn't use crutches), she said it was "dangerous" for me or my friends to do it. I was livid. So my friends and I pranked her, by putting the breaks on when she tried to wheel me around, and then I would take them off when a friend offered to help. She NEVER figured it out. It was so hilarious. I haven't had anyone be as obnoxious as she was again, usually they are just concerned but I let them know I know what I'm doing and they tend to back off. I guess I am lucky in that most places I have worked or gone to school have been good about being hands off with recovery/etc. But I would never hesitate to do something like that again if needed... lol.