got made fun of in public for being bald

I was at wal mart with my boyfriend doing some grocery shopping and for some reason up near the registers it seemed really hot and my wig was starting to feel sweaty, so I walked over to the bench area, took a look and saw no one was around/looking and took it off for a quick airing out. Within half a minute there's these teenagers pointing and laughing at me and calling me voldemort and grandma (i'm 25) Is that a no no thing to do, taking off a wig in public? Should I have just sucked it up and sweated. I know I shouldn't let it get to me, but I couldn't believe how insensitive they were, like hello, I can hear you. I just feel frustrated and sad, I miss my hair. I know i'm not the only one on the planet going through this but that just really hurt a lot

Comments

  • 16 Comments sorted by Votes Date Added
  • I am so sorry that happened to you, noone should ever have to feel that... People can be so insensetive. I have had similar situations where people made fun of me for my odd "hairstyle" within ear shot. i was infuriated to the point that i couldn't say anything at all...even tell my husband, who would have made them very sorry for insulting me. i have come to undrstand that most people are just insensitive idiots and have no idea how to behave in public.

    No, there is nothing wrong with taking a wig off in public or not wearing one at all. The problem is with the jerks judging you.

    i sometimes wish i had a sign or something that says something like .."i have cancer, asshole, whats your excuse" ...or that i could punch strangers in the face.

    i miss my hair too, thankfully its slowly coming back and i can almost cover the places the radiation burnt my scalp. I get so jealous of women with long locks now. i know its juvenile, but so what.

    Maybe with cooler weather coming you can find more comfortable ways to cover your head? I have seen some really cute hats this season. I hope you don't let this get you down. (hugs)
  • That is so mean and totally inappropriate! :( Sorry you had to deal with that. Signs of cancer just go to show how much you've dealt with and come out on top of despite it all...not something anyone should have to be ashamed of.

    What Melissa said, though - hats are definitely in, and you can get a ton of cute ones in stores now. If you like crafts, crocheting is really easy, and you can design your own with really pretty colors. I usually go to JoAnns, since they have a nice selection of yarn types and colors.

    I found a link for "I have cancer, what's your excuse" stuff. http://shop.cafepress.com/i-have-cancer-what%27s-your-excuse
  • melissa;5634 said:
    "i have cancer, asshole, whats your excuse"
    I'd have just said it. I'm blunt like that and I don't take shit from anyone. I dealt with a road rage incident when I was on my way home from the cancer hospital. guy cut my wife and I off in a bad way and I flipped him the bird. he followed me and got out of his car and started beating on the driver's side window (my wife was driving). I got out of the car and began to have words with him and he started making aggressive approaches like he wanted to fight with me. I asked him if he'd feel better if he beat up a cancer patient...if that'd make him feel like a bigger man.
  • melissa;5634 said:
    I am so sorry that happened to you, noone should ever have to feel that... People can be so insensetive. I have had similar situations where people made fun of me for my odd "hairstyle" within ear shot. i was infuriated to the point that i couldn't say anything at all...even tell my husband, who would have made them very sorry for insulting me. i have come to undrstand that most people are just insensitive idiots and have no idea how to behave in public.

    No, there is nothing wrong with taking a wig off in public or not wearing one at all. The problem is with the jerks judging you.

    i sometimes wish i had a sign or something that says something like .."i have cancer, asshole, whats your excuse" ...or that i could punch strangers in the face.

    i miss my hair too, thankfully its slowly coming back and i can almost cover the places the radiation burnt my scalp. I get so jealous of women with long locks now. i know its juvenile, but so what.

    Maybe with cooler weather coming you can find more comfortable ways to cover your head? I have seen some really cute hats this season. I hope you don't let this get you down. (hugs)


    i know the feeling, I get a tiny bit emotional sometimes when I see girls with long pretty hair, I get like soo envious. Yes i've actually become obsessed with hats, spencers and hot topic have the cutest stuff. I have bunny rabbit eared hats, and a pikachu hat, etc. thankyou for making me feel better :)
  • Katydid;5636 said:
    That is so mean and totally inappropriate! :( Sorry you had to deal with that. Signs of cancer just go to show how much you've dealt with and come out on top of despite it all...not something anyone should have to be ashamed of.

    What Melissa said, though - hats are definitely in, and you can get a ton of cute ones in stores now. If you like crafts, crocheting is really easy, and you can design your own with really pretty colors. I usually go to JoAnns, since they have a nice selection of yarn types and colors.

    I found a link for "I have cancer, what's your excuse" stuff. http://shop.cafepress.com/i-have-cancer-what%27s-your-excuse


    Yeah I actually knit, but I wanna get into crocheting because it's so much faster, I have a ton of hats but it would be so rad to make my own. Thankyou for cheering me up : )
  • mtbikernate;5643 said:
    I'd have just said it. I'm blunt like that and I don't take shit from anyone. I dealt with a road rage incident when I was on my way home from the cancer hospital. guy cut my wife and I off in a bad way and I flipped him the bird. he followed me and got out of his car and started beating on the driver's side window (my wife was driving). I got out of the car and began to have words with him and he started making aggressive approaches like he wanted to fight with me. I asked him if he'd feel better if he beat up a cancer patient...if that'd make him feel like a bigger man.
    that's wild lol, good for you. what did he respond with?
  • he threatened more, and then I asked him how he'd feel if he got his ass kicked by a cancer patient. that one seemed to register with him a little bit deeper, but it still took the manager of McDonald's threatening to call the police before he would leave. His wife was beside herself. At that point I might have actually been able to hold my own. I have just enough martial arts training that I can deflect a punch and this guy was probably in his 50's so that might have been enough.

    It was funny, he threatened to call the police on me for flipping him off...like they'd do something about that and not do anything to him for going road rage on me.
  • mtbikernate;5654 said:
    he threatened more, and then I asked him how he'd feel if he got his ass kicked by a cancer patient. that one seemed to register with him a little bit deeper, but it still took the manager of McDonald's threatening to call the police before he would leave. His wife was beside herself. At that point I might have actually been able to hold my own. I have just enough martial arts training that I can deflect a punch and this guy was probably in his 50's so that might have been enough.

    It was funny, he threatened to call the police on me for flipping him off...like they'd do something about that and not do anything to him for going road rage on me.

    Seriously, what a fruit loop. Some people just can't handle a bird I guess. I'm
    sorry you had to go through that but at the same time I can't help but feel like you go boy !
  • I don't like confrontations like that, but I WILL stand up for myself if I'm put in that situation.

    But moreso, I'm not afraid to let people know when they've been idiots.

    You can blame the cancer for that. When other people's idiocy endangers others, they deserve to be called on it. And that's exactly what this guy's maneuver did. It's difficult to explain without drawing a picture, but suffice to say that we were there first, we had the right-of-way (over him, but since we were turning left, we did not have the ROW over anyone else), and he pulled an insane maneuver to get ahead of us...into McDonald's.
  • Don't be afraid to tell people you have cancer. When I had my Bone Marrow Transplant I was given a handicapped placard so I could use handicapped spots. I never looked all that sick, so when I got out of the car I would sometimes get accusatory looks from people in the parking lot. If they were really staring me down I'd say "I have cancer," and continue on my way. Once during my treatment, there was someone standing in a handicapped spot smoking out side of a restaurant and when I started to pull in, he didn't move, but stared right at me. I kept inching in until I was in the spot, sort of played up getting out of the car, and started in the restaurant. I heard him say " You asshole" as I walked by. I turned around and said "Sorry my cancer is incovienencing you," and continued on my way.

    The point is there's alot of ignorant dicks out there. I don't think that it's wrong to speak out and let them know they're just that. If you speak up others in the store will hear you too and those guys will come off looking worse.
  • popTarts;5627 said:
    Within half a minute there's these teenagers pointing and laughing at me and calling me voldemort and grandma (i'm 25)
    Carey;5675 said:
    Don't be afraid to tell people you have cancer.

    The point is there's alot of ignorant dicks out there. I don't think that it's wrong to speak out and let them know they're just that. If you speak up others in the store will hear you too and those guys will come off looking worse.
    First and foremost, I will tell you what I tell my teenager who has sarcoma (and has been fighting for almost 2 years). Who CARES??? I know it is extremely hard emotionally to be different and she would never ever go out in public without a beanie (in the beginning it was wigs, but that was short lived bc of the sweating and itchy-ness). She has been ridiculed by both kids AND adults. Once, when shopping at Old Navy at the beginning of summer, she had a beany on and some guy said to his wife (loud enough for her to hear), is there a cold front? She contemplated and then found him in the store and told him "I have cancer, and I am bald. That is why I have this beanie on". He apologized saying "I am sorry sweetie". Other instances were at school when some kid didn't believe her when he asked why she wore the beanie and she told him she had cancer. He pulled off her beanie. She ran to the restroom crying, but if you asked her now, she wishes she would have confronted him. Spoke her mind, per se. She even mentioned in her survivor speech at RFL this year that she wishes now that she would have embraced her baldness. Sort of worn it like a "badge of courage".

    Regardless of your cancer, people are just jerks. I blame their parents (even if they are adults). My children, even before my daughter was diagnosed, would never make fun of anyone, ever. That is because of the way I have raised them.

    Rest assured, even if you don't say what you want, karma will take care of these people and I truly feel sorry for them when it does.
  • popTarts;5627 said:
    Is that a no no thing to do, taking off a wig in public? Should I have just sucked it up and sweated. I know I shouldn't let it get to me, but I couldn't believe how insensitive they were, like hello, I can hear you. I just feel frustrated and sad, I miss my hair. I know i'm not the only one on the planet going through this but that just really hurt a lot
    What worries me is that it sounds like you are judging yourself for other peoples moronic, insensitive and just *total* fucking ineptitude as human beings- you are "allowed" to do whatever you want. It is your life and your place, you live on this earth and you deserve respect and love. No one has the right to make you feel anything but whole, and if they do something that brings on feelings of anything less that amazingness, don't judge yourself, you didn't do anything wrong. Of course you are frustrated and sad, among the probably 100's of other things that you have going on. You are more than the cancer and bald head, but boy, sometimes I'm sure it's hard to let all that go. Whatever you are feeling or experiencing at the moment is what you have, don't apologize.

    You are amazing, and that's what you need to remember. I don't know why there are total idiotic morons on this earth who would do something like that, but that isn't your issue. Please don't judge yourself and be kind to yourself... you really need it right now, along with all the support and love you can get.

    I wish I could have been there with you...things might have gone differently.
  • overlandtraveler;5682 said:
    What worries me is that it sounds like you are judging yourself for other peoples moronic, insensitive and just *total* fucking ineptitude as human beings- you are "allowed" to do whatever you want. It is your life and your place, you live on this earth and you deserve respect and love. No one has the right to make you feel anything but whole, and if they do something that brings on feelings of anything less that amazingness, don't judge yourself, you didn't do anything wrong. Of course you are frustrated and sad, among the probably 100's of other things that you have going on. You are more than the cancer and bald head, but boy, sometimes I'm sure it's hard to let all that go. Whatever you are feeling or experiencing at the moment is what you have, don't apologize.

    You are amazing, and that's what you need to remember. I don't know why there are total idiotic morons on this earth who would do something like that, but that isn't your issue. Please don't judge yourself and be kind to yourself... you really need it right now, along with all the support and love you can get.

    I wish I could have been there with you...things might have gone differently.

    amen. couldn't have said it better myself. OWN your cancer. I have a mug on my desk that I bought in San Francisco recently. It says, "Cancer is my bitch" and I treat it that way.
  • Carey;5675 said:
    Don't be afraid to tell people you have cancer. When I had my Bone Marrow Transplant I was given a handicapped placard so I could use handicapped spots. I never looked all that sick, so when I got out of the car I would sometimes get accusatory looks from people in the parking lot. If they were really staring me down I'd say "I have cancer," and continue on my way. Once during my treatment, there was someone standing in a handicapped spot smoking out side of a restaurant and when I started to pull in, he didn't move, but stared right at me. I kept inching in until I was in the spot, sort of played up getting out of the car, and started in the restaurant. I heard him say " You asshole" as I walked by. I turned around and said "Sorry my cancer is incovienencing you," and continued on my way.

    The point is there's alot of ignorant dicks out there. I don't think that it's wrong to speak out and let them know they're just that. If you speak up others in the store will hear you too and those guys will come off looking worse.

    some people are just aching to judge and assume, i'm sorry you had to go through such akwardness. and your right, if I had just said "um, I have cancer", they woulda looked soo bad. I just assume people know I have cancer from the baldness ya know
  • cherrichiodo;5680 said:
    First and foremost, I will tell you what I tell my teenager who has sarcoma (and has been fighting for almost 2 years). Who CARES??? I know it is extremely hard emotionally to be different and she would never ever go out in public without a beanie (in the beginning it was wigs, but that was short lived bc of the sweating and itchy-ness). She has been ridiculed by both kids AND adults. Once, when shopping at Old Navy at the beginning of summer, she had a beany on and some guy said to his wife (loud enough for her to hear), is there a cold front? She contemplated and then found him in the store and told him "I have cancer, and I am bald. That is why I have this beanie on". He apologized saying "I am sorry sweetie". Other instances were at school when some kid didn't believe her when he asked why she wore the beanie and she told him she had cancer. He pulled off her beanie. She ran to the restroom crying, but if you asked her now, she wishes she would have confronted him. Spoke her mind, per se. She even mentioned in her survivor speech at RFL this year that she wishes now that she would have embraced her baldness. Sort of worn it like a "badge of courage".

    Regardless of your cancer, people are just jerks. I blame their parents (even if they are adults). My children, even before my daughter was diagnosed, would never make fun of anyone, ever. That is because of the way I have raised them.

    Rest assured, even if you don't say what you want, karma will take care of these people and I truly feel sorry for them when it does.
    wow, your poor daughter. She must be the bravest fourteen year old. I do believe in karma, thankyou for being so kind with such good advice. I love your green hair!
  • I'm not going to lie: I would love for this to happen to me. Why, you ask? Because I long to be able to take out my months of pent-up aggression on an unsuspecting asshole. It's like when people fantasize about getting in great shape and running into their ex: I want to look really awful (done!) and run into a jerk so he can unwittingly be my punching bag.

    Tell them cheerfully (because a polite enraged person is the most terrifying kind), "Excuse me, I couldn't help overhearing you. Thank you for making me feel even better about the chemotherapy I had today. You're handsome, single-chinned, and your hairline isn't receding at all!" He is guaranteed to walk away with new insecurities about balding and double chins.

    Unfortunately, the extent of bad behavior that I've encountered only involves poor elevator etiquette. While I think there's a special place in hell reserved for people who shove onto an elevator before people on it can get off (particularly in a hospital), it's not enough of a gaffe for me to verbally abuse them ... so far.