Observations of a Parent

The main heading of this forum, "My child is Sick" is really an oxymoron in itself. I2Y's demographic is Young Adults, 15-40. I can understand a 15-19 year old still being a child, but, after that, yea they become adults somewhere. My son Jared was dx'd this past June, he was 20 (turning 21 in a couple of weeks). I remember coming home from work one day in July, finding Jared on the couch curled up on the couch, feeling like absolute crap from a mega dose of chemo. I sat down next to him, and he shifted his body so he can put his head in my lap and looked at me. He was no longer this 175 lb, 5'11" mass of muscles, in my eyes he was once again a little curly headed little boy looking at his dad for pleading for help. And with that life came in focus. I finally understood why, as a man of 52, my mother at times talks to me like I'm 12. It doesn't matter whether your child is 15,20,30,40 or even 52 in a parent's eye, they're still little children needing mommy and daddy to help them, comfort them, protect them.

Thanks for the vent.... your turn
Mark

Comments

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  • I actually come from the opposite end- I'm 23 and diagnosed with stage 3B melanoma this summer and I know it hit my parents really hard. My dad blames himself for the genetics and not being more careful with me since his dad died of melanoma, and my mom... well she's a mom and even at 23 I know I'm still her baby girl. And it's really hard at an age where I'm ready to be off on my own (and mostly have been for several years) to have to suddenly be relying on my parents again, but it's great that they're there and I know they always will be. Luckily for me I only had to have a couple of surgeries and am now back on my own, but while I was with my parents I drank my dad's disgusting vegetable juices, let them drive me to all my appointments and harrass the doctors with multitudes of questions, and laughed and joked with them because I know as parents they would rather have the cancer themselves than have to consider the possibility of outliving their child. Even though I'm the one diagnosed with cancer I actually worry about my parents! Your son probably worries some about how you're doing with all of it too, and I'm sure he greatly appreciates everything you do for him... Parents just have to remember to still let us feel independent :)
  • We don't have much of a choice with Jared being independent or not. He's a JR in college in Ohio and we live in NY. So, it's long distance coordination, but, he's dealing with the brunt of decisions.
  • That must be hard- my parents are on the west side of WA (and my doctors in Seattle) and I am a grad student at WSU on the east side of WA so it is much easier. Wish you and Jared the best!
  • Mark,

    such a great description. they are always our children my 26 year old daughter would ask me to stroke her head it was the only thing that soothed her and helped with the nausea. sometimes I wondered if I could stand there for hours and days but I did, after all the meds there is nothing like the touch and love of a parent. Em is doing well and is in remission after some tough stuff. We will keep on truckin' we have lots to share glad we are on this site. gg