what cancer has done

cancer has taken away the ability for my boyfriend and i to have kids, it has taken away his spirit, its taken away sex (probably forever), its literally taken him away cause he had to move to be closer to a better treatment facility, it has taken the past year of our life away. i think everyday what it has done to us but i don't always think of what it hasn't taken away.... it hasn't taken our love away. we have gotten closer over this past year, even if he lives 15 states away. its made me look at life completely different and i never want to take him for granted anymore. sometimes we want a pitty party, i know i have for sure, but we don't always look at the upsides of things. i mean how can we, its fricken cancer and it sucks but i think from now on its not what it has taken but what we have now and the future we have together.

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  • KapomenKapomen Community Member
    I can relate completely. My wife has cancer, and so does her mom, her sister, and her nephew. My wife and i live separately because she is the primary caregiver for her mom and the rest of her family, and i am my wife's caregiver. So in an indirect way, i support all of them. We've been separated like this for years now.. She can no longer have children either, due to her cancer. Which is still something that's hard for me to accept. I love her, and that is why i am still beside her through all of this. I am in the military, so I have a demanding life anyways. That's one of the reasons I am not with her, just as her moms medical needs being tied to their home state is. Its a hard life. But its not hopeless. Cancer has taken a lot from her, and alot from us. I'm a relatively healthy man, but cancer has taken more than i could quantify from me. More than a value could serve justice to. Sex is rare, and when it does happen, we both have to live with the pain that i know that she endures for me. Because it does hurt her. Needless to say, its been hell on our marriage too. Everything together has broken down our communication together, though we our working through that the best we can, but that has still weathered our relationship. It sucks. To say the least. You hit the nail on the head there. There's not many people who truly understand what it is that I've gone through, and still go through. She's gotten better, over time. But her mom and sister have gotten worse. It's a grim and painful thing to live with, knowing that her moms death is the condition that would have to be met in order for us to actually be together as a couple. I don't want that, but i want us to be together. We need to be. So its a sucky situation either way.