Sometimes I just get so frustrated by the fact that all my friends are getting their masters degrees, and starting their careers, and having babies, and buying new cars ....and my husband and are are dealing with cancer with no health insurance and no gov't assistance. We'll be lucky if we can ever afford to have kids or get a new car, much less afford grad school.

How do you all deal with this??? What do you do to keep from sitting and crying all day because you just want a normal life? How do you keep from wondering if you did anything to deserve this? :(


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  • no government assistance? have you looked into getting on disability? I know there are some requirements that have to be met, but I'm hardly an expert on that. I just saw my cancer on their fast track list and applied when I could.

    I am currently most frustrated by the fact that everything takes me so much longer to do now because of my concentration problems. I started my master's degree almost exactly 4 years ago. everybody who started at the same time I did is gone. I don't have time to be social. That's not necessarily a problem unto itself...every grad student deals with that. But it usually lasts months...not years as in my case. I just want to be DONE with it already so I can move on.

    I haven't even thought about the baby thing much recently. being so busy with the degree means I'd have to time for raising a child. the wife and I will be sitting down and trying to figure out that situation - the first question on the list being whether I am even able to father a child anymore.

    I definitely have some of those same frustrations.
  • I'm not going to lend a lot of positivity here because I'm going through a bad time too.

    I'm one year out from a stem cell transplant (anniversary is this Saturday), but instead of feeling joyful I am frustrated. I am frustrated that the recovery process is so long and slow. I am still on so many medications that I still feel very much like a patient. I still have a PICC line. I have neuropathy pain in my legs and feet. I have serious concentration issues too. I just want to be "normal". Heck, I would settle for half-way normal.

    I sympathize with what you are saying about watching friends and family carry on with their lives, while yours feels like it's stuck. Am I right?

    I can't comment on the financial situation because I am in Canada, with good provincial health coverage and good health insurance. I've read so much about the American system and hate to hear these stories about finances restricting treatment.

    All I can say is you're not alone. Seek solace in the fact that there are people like "us" out there too
  • We are def. on the same page! I blame facebook for showing me DAILY that people younger than me- some who were MY employees- now have their master's or nursing degrees and i'm stuck here with a bachelor's degree that does nothing and cancer. it's such bull! Don't even get me started on all the younger girls that are having their first or second child & i'm left in the dark about whether my fertility is even surviving this treatment. It's very hard. My only advice is find the one sliver of positive and hold on to it for dear life.. for example, my boyfriend and I are approaching our 2 year anniversary. He is MUCH younger than me and is just starting off on his college path. I consider this a 'transition time' for me to slow down and handle cancer and for him to mature into a man that can provide for us. It's my only hope that in 5 years or so when we are [hopefully] looking back at all this we will finally be where we want to be (marriage, kids, careers. Sometimes I also like to think of this as our midlife/20 something crisis and all those others will be having theirs much later in life (it's bounds to happen! lol).. oh and also, read blogs about women with cancer that thought they were infertile and then wound up prego and had beautiful little babies (that helps too- love those lol). much luck!