By: Rashad Hayes, 31, Stupid Cancer Jr. Board Member

“C-A-N-C-E-R”, six letters, one word, and a moment that stole the air from my lungs.

I was 22. A former collegiate athlete. Strong, disciplined, and used to pushing through the pain. I had just begun grieving the loss of football, a piece of my identity, when life hit me with something far heavier: cancer. How could I go from peak physical condition to suddenly fighting for my life? I didn’t know how to be a patient. I didn’t know how to be vulnerable.
And I certainly didn’t know how to ask for help. 

I wore my strength like armor, the “strong friend,” the “golden child,” the one people leaned on. So when the diagnosis came, I crumbled in silence. I coped in unhealthy ways, ignored the emotions building up inside me, and let my mental health spiral into a dark place. But what cancer taught me is this: strength isn’t just about how much you can carry. It’s also about knowing when to set the weight down.

I had to unlearn everything I thought I knew about myself and rebuild from the inside out. And through that process, I found something unexpected: PURPOSE!

Today, I live with intention, driven to help others, not just those fighting cancer, but anyone navigating life’s battles. And the philosophy that grew from my pain, my healing, and my hope is something I call C.A.K.E.

Let me break it down for you:

C — Continue to Learn

Cancer shattered the illusion that I had life figured out. But in the aftermath, I realized I had the chance to discover who I really was. It gave me permission to pick up the broken pieces and shape a new version of myself, one rooted in truth, not expectation.

Learning isn’t just about books or classrooms. It’s about self-reflection, asking hard questions, and choosing growth, especially when it’s uncomfortable.

A — Always Love Yourself

Loving yourself isn’t always pretty. It’s not all affirmations and bubble baths. Sometimes, it looks like reaching out when you’re drowning. Sometimes, it’s sitting with your pain, naming it, and choosing to heal anyway. I learned that asking for help doesn’t make you weak; it makes you human. And seeking therapy? That’s not defeat. That’s self-love in action. You are your greatest asset. Speak up. Be seen. You are worth it.

K — Know Your Worth

Cancer doesn’t define me. Neither does my past, my pain, or my lowest moments. You are more than what happened to you. You are valuable, capable, and deserving of every good thing life has to offer. Knowing your worth means no longer settling for less; not from people, not from circumstances, and especially not from yourself.

E — Enjoy Your Life

This moment, right now, is a gift. That’s why they call it the present.

Too often we wait for the storm to pass before we allow ourselves to feel joy. But joy can coexist with pain. In fact, that’s when it’s most powerful. So laugh hard. Love deeply. Chase the things that make you smile.

I didn’t choose cancer, but I chose what came after. I chose to turn pain into purpose, to lean into the lessons, and to build something beautiful from the ashes. Always remember; a great cake starts with the baker’s ability to utilize the ingredients in their pantry. I choose to share this with you, not because I have all the answers, but because I believe someone out there needs to know that they’re not alone and that healing is messy, nonlinear, and incredibly worth it.

So, take a slice of C.A.K.E. Let it nourish you. Let it challenge you. And most of all, let it remind you: You are not your pain. You are power. You are possibility. And your story is still being written.